Come Home
by samekraemer
Summary: Edward Cullen can't remember the last year of his life, so he doesn't understand why he has to be cared for by Bella Swan, who would give anything to change thirty seconds of her life. They both lost everything. FULL SUMMARY INSIDE. AH/AH/AU. Canon couples/OOC. Rated M…just in case.
1. Chapter 1

_**Full Summary: **_Edward Cullen doesn't remember the last year of his life, so he doesn't understand why he has to be cared for by Bella Swan, who would give anything to change thirty seconds of her life. They both lost everything, but she'd fight to get it back…even if she had to fight with Edward Cullen. How important could thirty seconds of your life be? What would you give to change it? AH/AU. Canon couples/OOC. Rated M…just in case.

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_**A/N: Happy New Year! I know you're waiting for more of MCMU, and it's coming back soon, I promise, but I decided to post this one now. It's different than most of my stories, and there will be angst. Just a warning.**_

_**SMeyer owns the characters. I own the stories and the mistakes.**_

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1.

"Come on, Edward. Pick up your leg; don't drag it behind you. Three more minutes," Emmett McCarty urged. He was Edward's physical therapist, and Edward hated him as much as he hated me on most days. Edward was an awful patient…doubly awful. He was a man and he was a doctor. The combination made him a monster on a good day.

"Fuck you and her as well," he snapped at Emmett as he walked slowly on the treadmill. I rolled my eyes, pushing down the heart-wrenching pain. It was nothing new, really, and it was one of the nicer things he'd said to me since I'd been taking care of him after his accident.

I tried not to let his comments get under my skin because I knew every day was a test of his patience. He had to relearn a lot of things, and he would never be able to practice medicine again due to the traumatic brain injury he'd suffered on Christmas Eve nearly six months prior.

He was rushing home because he was late for a family celebration, and he was t-boned by a drunk driver who ran a red light. He was in a coma for three weeks because the doctors kept him in one to allow his brain to heal. He had three broken ribs on the left from the side airbag and a collapsed lung as well, but the most serious injury was the head trauma.

He'd undergone surgery to insert a monitor Bolt to track intercranial pressure. He was fortunate they didn't have to perform a cranioectomy to remove a piece of his skull so the brain had room to expand. Doctors were able to regulate the swelling with meds, but in the beginning, it was completely horrifying.

After he regained consciousness, a new, unexpected problem was diagnosed. Edward didn't remember anything that had occurred the year prior to the accident. There was no way to know if he'd ever remember the lost time, and it frustrated the hell out of him.

As soon as the doctors learned of this development, they called the family together, explained the ramifications, outlined what to expect from Edward, and how to handle it as a family. It was extremely difficult and frustrating for all concerned, but exacerbating the problem was Edward's confusion and personality change.

"Okay, I think we're good for today. Have you been doing your therapy without me? You've regained about eighty-percent use in your right hand, but I can't help believing you'll get closer to one-hundred percent if you keep it up," Emmett praised as he handed Edward his cane. There had been paralysis on the right side, but there was no nerve or muscle damage, so the doctors were optimistic he could regain full use with extensive therapy.

His parents had remodeled the library in their home to make a gym so he could have daily sessions without having to go to the therapist's offices. They'd also abandoned their offices just off the library to provide Edward with private quarters near the home gym. He wasn't grateful for any of the sacrifices the family made for him, and I suppose I couldn't blame him. I can't guarantee I wouldn't be bitter in his position.

"Mr. Cullen, would you like…" I began as I approached where he stood next to the treadmill, wiping the sweat from his face with a towel Emmett handed him.

"Miss Swan, unless you're going to wash my dick and give me a happy ending, I can shower alone. McCarty, I'll see you tomorrow. After I shower and practice my handwriting exercises, I want something edible for dinner, you bossy bitch," he tossed my way as he slowly proceeded out of the gym.

I felt the tears spring into my eyes at his words. It wasn't that he said them, because he had some pretty colorful names for me since he'd been released from the hospital and I'd begun his care. The most hurtful part was he hadn't always been that way.

After he slammed the door, Emmett walked over to where I stood and hugged me as I sobbed for the third time that day. It was actually a good day because the day before had been his birthday, and he'd forbidden me to even be in the house. He'd shrieked at his mother that it was his fucking birthday and he should spend it how he chose. None of his plans included having my "scraggly, boney ass" around.

"Shh. I don't know how you do it. I don't understand why Carlisle and Esme don't tell him…" Emmett began his broken record.

I pulled away. "You know why. I agree with them, Emmett. He's got to come to realizations on his own, if it's possible," I reminded.

"What if he never does?" Emmett asked.

"I can't dwell on that. I have to pray either he'll remember things on his own, or his opinion of me will change once he gets to know me," I responded.

"Gets to know you? Hell, Bella…" Emmett complained.

"I know," I sighed, feeling exhausted yet again. The possibility he'd never feel the same about me was too much to fathom, but if, after he was physically healed, he wanted me out of his life I'd have to abide by his wishes regardless of the personal cost to me.

##

I walked Emmett out and went to the kitchen to put together Edward's dinner. Kate, the Cullens' cook, refused to serve his meals, and I couldn't blame her. After he was discharged from the care facility he went into directly from the hospital, he went to his parents' house to continue his recovery. Being the awful patient he was, he'd throw the food at her if it wasn't what he wanted to eat that day. He was on a special diet, and he hated it, so after the first week of her walking into the kitchen with food in her hair or on her clothes, she threatened to quit.

At the time, I was staying with Esme and Carlisle, so I told Kate I'd see he got fed and that was probably when his hatred for me grew from a small candle flame to the raging inferno I experienced of late.

"Bella, how's he doing today?" Kate asked. She was a lovely woman. She was in her late forties, and she lived on the property but not in the house. She'd offered to move into the main house and allow me her small cottage so I could have some privacy those first few weeks I stayed, but I declined. After Edward became ambulatory and the catheter was removed, I moved back home because he hated knowing I was in the house.

I arrived at the Cullens' house every day at seven in the morning, not leaving until Edward was settled for bed at eleven at night. It didn't matter what time I left because I didn't sleep when I got home, and I never took a day off, about which I caught seven kinds of hell from Carlisle, Esme, Edward's sister, and my own father. It was actually because of my father I even met Dr. Edward Cullen in the first place.

"His dexterity is improving daily. He was able to walk three miles on the treadmill today, which Dr. Gerandy will be quite happy about when I take him for his check-up. I've only cried three times today, which is a bonus, and he's only called me a bitch four times. Maybe it's a sign of a change," I replied optimistically.

Kate placed a cup of tea on the table in front of me. "Child, why don't you allow Carlisle and Esme to hire a private nurse to deal with him? They get paid to put up with the nasty attitude. It shouldn't be this way between you," Kate said with a gentle hand on my cheek and a lot of sympathy in her eyes. Of course, her kindness brought tears to my eyes.

"Katie, you know why I do it. He's…"

"Goddamnit! Am I getting dinner or not? I don't appreciate the _help_ gossiping about me when I'm not around. Cook, I believe you have a job to do, and it's not to coddle Miss Swan. She's compensated quite handsomely, I'm sure, to care for me which she's currently doing a shitty job of because I'm starving.

"Miss Swan, if you're so fucking disgruntled working for my parents, why don't you take your lazy ass out of their house and find another cripple with a kinder demeanor. I'd like to know what fucking school you went to for training because _bitch_, you suck," Edward snapped from the kitchen doorway. I hadn't heard him approach, which was a good sign because it mean he was gaining more control over his movement.

"_Edward Anthony!" _I heard from the other entrance of the kitchen. It was Carlisle coming in from the garage. I knew he was going to go off on a tangent, and it only served to escalate the situation. I waved him off and stood to face Edward.

"Mr. Cullen, I'm just getting ready to bring your dinner. Why don't you settle in your room, unless you'd like to join your parents in the dining room? I believe your sister and her husband are invited for dinner, and Katie's cooked a pork roast, which is one of your favorites," I suggested, trying to hold myself together.

"Oh, so now you're dictating my entertainment as well? How lucky. Father, did you know Miss Swan is a social director? Isn't there some stupid inbred fool out there who is willing to take you on a fucking date? Though, based on your appearance, I'd guess he'd have to be blind. Have you never heard of a thing called make-up," Edward snapped.

"Mr. Cullen, that's unnecessary. I'm here to do my job, not provide you with eye candy," I snapped. Thankfully, Carlisle and Kate left the room to allow me to deal with him.

"Are you so bitter because you got dumped? How fucking old are you anyway?" he hissed.

"I'm twenty-seven. I didn't get dumped. I lost my husband in an accident, you arrogant fuck," I snapped. Maybe it wasn't a better day after all.

"It was probably a suicide if he had to come home to you every day," he stated sarcastically. I couldn't take it any longer. I went to the closet and found my purse and I left. Some days were better than others. This was not one of those days.

##

I held myself together as I drove home. I reached into my blouse and pulled out the chain from which two platinum bands hung, and I held onto them for dear life. I had a nightly routine, but it appeared as if I'd get to settle into it five hours earlier than usual since it was only six in the evening.

I pulled into my parking spot, and I climbed the two flights of stairs to the lavish lobby of the condo building in which I resided. I say resided because I didn't live…anywhere. I hadn't really figured out how to live since my life had been blown apart, but I couldn't dwell on it or I'd lose my fucking mind.

I crossed the lobby, looking around and chuckling for the millionth time since I'd moved in the year before. It wasn't a place I ever thought I'd see myself living, but when you fall head over heels in love with someone, you'll do a lot of things you never imagined.

"Ah, you're home early," Jake, the desk attendant, greeted as he placed a package on the front desk.

"Hi, Jake. How are you this lovely June evening?" I asked tiredly.

"Clearly, better than you. How's Mr. C?" he asked. He asked every day, and usually, I gave a pat answer of "getting better all the time." That night, I only smiled because I was afraid Edward wasn't ever going to get any better and I couldn't say it out loud. That would make it real.

"Oh, bad day?" he asked. The guy had a sweet demeanor about him, and he had the sweetest wife and daughter I'd ever met. I loved it when they came to visit him before everything happened. I'd run into them when I got home from work. Carlie, Jake's wife, was quite shy, but it was easy to see she loved her husband as much as I loved mine. His daughter…she was everything I hoped my child would be back then. Unfortunately, I'd never know.

"It was a day. How's Nessa?" I asked. She'd just finished her first year of school, and I was always entertained by the stories he told me. I knew he was trying to offer me a distraction, and I always welcomed it. Only my doctor and I knew the depth of the loss I'd suffered. The only proof I had I was ever pregnant was a sonogram picture from my first prenatal visit and a small box wrapped in Christmas paper with a gift for my husband to give him the good news. Unfortunately, it wouldn't be news I'd ever get to deliver.

"She's fine. She's going to cheerleading camp, if you can believe that. You just missed her and Carlie. Do you need anything, Mrs. C?" He was quite sweet for asking.

"Just a hot bath and a glass of wine. Good to see you, Jake. Please, for the millionth time, call me Bella," I ordered. He winked at me and handed me the box.

I grabbed the mail from the mailbox and climbed onto the elevator, inserting my key in the lock to take me to the penthouse. When the door opened, I trudged off and tiredly opened the front door. I dropped my keys in the bowl by the door along with my purse and the box. I knew what was in it without opening the damn thing. It was a birthday gift for Edward…a rare first edition of "The Catcher in the Rye," which was his favorite book. I didn't know if giving it to him would spark anything or make things worse, so I left it on the table to consider it the next day when I went to the Cullens.

I checked the machine in the kitchen, hearing my father's comforting voice. "Bells, it's me, honey. Just checkin' in. I'm workin' the swing shift, so if ya get home before midnight, call me. I'm worried about ya. Love you, honey. Bye."

Everyone in my life, save one person, was worried about me. Hell, I worried about me. I didn't realize I was as strong as I was, but I suppose there's something to be said for "what doesn't kill us makes us strong." _He's not dead. He's only lost_. I had to keep remembering that, or I'd curl up into a ball and die.

I went to the spare room I'd moved into and grabbed my pajamas, going into the master bathroom to shower. As I looked at the huge Jacuzzi tub to the right, I remembered the last time I'd soaked in it.

"_Bugsy, come up here, baby. I've got a surprise for you," I heard him call from upstairs. I'd had a bad day, and when I called him to whine about it, he'd listened patiently, as he always did even though he was busy, and told me he had a surprise for me when I got home._

"_Be up in a minute, Elmer. Just getting a glass of wine," I called up to him._

"_Got it covered," he called back._

_I laughed at our stupid nicknames for each other, but he'd started calling me Bugs shortly after I met him because I'd always greet him with a "What's up Doc?" He told me it was one of the things he loved about me._

_I climbed the stairs and wandered down the long hallway to our master bath, seeing candles everywhere, along with flowers and a large silver bucket we'd received as a wedding gift. It held a large bottle of chilled 'Veuve Clicquot'. His smile was incredible, and my horrible day melted away immediately._

"_How's my wife?" He was already in his robe and wasted no time removing my suit from me._

"_The other kids don't like to play nice," I whined as he kissed my neck, reaching around to unhook my bra after he removed my silk blouse._

"_Who was it? I'll beat them up tomorrow," he offered, drawing a titter from me._

"_That sounds a lot better than the sad sack I heard over the phone. So, tell me what's wrong," he coaxed as he helped me out of my panties and into the tub. He handed me a hair band from the ever-present dish on the vanity counter, and he opened the bottle of champagne, pouring two glasses, handing both to me as he disrobed and climbed in with me. _

_Once he was settled, he took a glass and toasted. "To the most beautiful, patient, woman in the world. You work with my mother…you have to be!" We both laughed and drank._

_It wasn't that his mother was difficult. Quite the contrary. She was a lovely woman. It was our clients who didn't trust my judgment and determined the only reason she'd taken me on as a partner was because I'd married her son._

"_Who was it today?" he asked as he refilled our glasses._

"_Victoria James. We had everything set to be delivered next week in time for Thanksgiving. Your mother is doing that job for the Newton's, so Esme told Victoria I'd be there for delivery and staging, and she threw a fucking fit. She said some nasty things about my abilities and how I only worked for your mother because I was fucking her son, which you know Esme. She went ballistic. She tore up the contract and threw it at the woman. I spent the afternoon cancelling all of the deliveries. Can you go beat Victoria James up for me?" I whined as I sipped my champagne._

_He pulled my feet into his lap and began the wonderful massaging he knew would make me forget my day and get me so riled up I'd fuck him on the first flat surface we could find. The man was very good at diversionary tactics._

"_On my way to the hospital tomorrow, I'll stop by and kick her ass. So, I do believe I've secured the week between Christmas and New Year's. Dad said he'd cover for me since Alice and Jasper are going to be gone at the same time. We can leave the twenty-sixth and come home on the thirtieth, which allows us to spend Christmas Eve and day with your dad, and then be home in time for Mom and Dad's New Year's party, all the while having a vacation for ourselves. I was thinking Hawaii. It's close, so we can cut down on travel time, and then for my birthday, we can go to Italy on a proper honeymoon. Vancouver in August is not exactly a proper honeymoon. It was three days, love," he explained._

"_Hey, you're the one who wanted to get married on the fly," I teased._

"_You bet your gorgeous ass I did. When you showed up in the ER after your father got hurt, you cast your spell over me, and that asshole, Taylor…Trevor…whatever, was going after my girl. Taking you to the courthouse and marrying you three days after I proposed was a lot more sanitary than peeing on you every day before you went to your old job. The best thing that ever happened was when Mom begged you to partner with her after we were married. You're a top notch designer, and if that idiot didn't see it, at least my mother did. Now, let's move on, Mrs. Cullen…" _

_We did move on, quite nicely. He made love to me in the tub, on the bathroom counter, and in our bed that night, wiping out every bad thing that happened that day. That night was the night we conceived our child. Our child he'd never know about and I'd never know._

_We never got to do any of those beautiful things he'd promised. He was on his way home on Christmas Eve because we were running late to get to my father's, and that night was the one to change our lives forever._

After my shower, I went to the kitchen to heat up some soup Katie had forced on me two days prior. The day before…Edward's thirty-third birthday when he'd demanded I not show up…I'd spent the day in bed with the small album of photos we'd accumulated during the short courtship and three month marriage we'd had prior to the accident. I closed it before I got to the ultrasound picture.

I called my dad because he was worried, and I knew he'd show up the next morning at five if I didn't. "Chief Swan," he answered stoically. He never looked at caller ID, God love him.

"Bella Cullen," I answered as dryly.

"Oh, hell Bells. How are ya, honey?" he asked, perking up a bit. I was awful about returning his calls because I had nothing good to tell him. Unfortunately, his agenda was always the same.

"Hi Dad. How's the criminal element? Should I keep my pepper spray handy when I leave in the morning?" I teased.

"Based on a conversation I had with Katie, I'd say you should use it on your husband," Dad snapped. He and Katie had developed a close "friendship" after I started dating Edward.

Carlisle and Esme had invited him to Sunday dinners, and Dad started showing up earlier and earlier to sit in the kitchen and keep Katie "company" while she cooked. I knew he was interested in her, and I was happy to witness it. Unfortunately since the accident, he didn't spend time at the Cullens' house because it was too difficult to explain it to Edward. Katie had Saturdays off, so my dad worked around her schedule to spend time with her.

"Dad, he can't help it. He's not the Edward you taught to fish. He's not the doctor who set your arm when you broke it last June. He's not the guy who showed up at the station at three o'clock in the morning to beg you for your blessing to ask me to marry him. Think about what he's been through. He's doing the best he can," I defended.

"Bells, why do you refuse to consider divorcing him? Even Esme and Carlisle think it's in your best interest. You can have a good life, you know," Dad pushed. There was that agenda I was talking about.

"Dad! It's only been six months. He's getting so much better every day. I love him, and he'll see it, eventually," I responded, sounding like the disillusioned fool I'd become. I just kept waiting for him to slip from the fog, look into my eyes and see me for who I am… the woman he loved so much he smooth-talked me out of my panties on our first date…talked me into moving in with him a month later….talked me into marriage just short of three months after I met him.

Just then, the phone beeped. "Dad, I need to go. I've got another call. I'll try to come over on Sunday night for dinner, okay?" I asked.

"Fine. Love you, Bells," he responded. I echoed the sentiment and hung up, hitting the flash to answer the other incoming call.

I heard sobbing over the line, so I pulled back to see it was from Esme's cell. "Esme, what's wrong?" I asked nervously.

"Bella, come over, please. He tried…he tried…," she stammered.

"He tried what?" I pushed.

"He tried to kill himself," Carlisle responded. I dropped the phone and dropped to my knees. After everything…I couldn't lose him like that. What the hell were we going to do?

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_**E/N: I told you this was different for me. Hell, I'm crying as I re-read it for the umpteenth time. It gets better…I promise…well, eventually. It's not a long story. It's about nine chapters. **_

_**I await your reviews. Hate it? I pull it. **_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**SMeyer owns these characters. I don't infringe. See ya at the bottom.**_

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2.

"Mr. Cullen, why did you take those pills?" I asked as I cried standing in his room where I could see he didn't want me to be at all. I couldn't help it, and I tried to stop the tears before I got into the house, but I couldn't help myself. After every fucking thing we'd gone through for him to end it that way? I couldn't contain myself.

"You screeching harpy! I didn't try to kill myself. I took the pills _you_ left on the counter. If anything, I believe _you_ tried to kill _me_. You put too many of the white ones in the case. That shows criminal negligence on your part. I'm calling the authorities and getting you arrested for attempted murder," he snapped at me.

I turned to Esme and saw the tears on her face. "What happened?" I asked.

"He started acting funny at dinner after he finally agreed to join us in the dining room. After he ate half of his meal, he became ill and threw up. Carlisle counted the pills left in the bottle and saw he'd double dosed on the Demerol," Esme explained.

"He's on half pills. He'd have had to…" I began explaining.

"Do _not_ fucking talk about me like I'm not here! I took the pills you left on the counter. You tried to kill me, you fucking cunt! It's not the first time you've drugged someone," he yelled.

"ENOUGH! That's enough!" Jasper yelled. Luckily, Edward remembered Jasper and Alice. They'd been married for three years, so their relationship fell outside his amnesia.

"Jasper, this is my fault…" I began.

"No, Bella, it's not. I can't sit back and watch you put this woman through this shit any longer. I can't…" Jasper snapped just as Alice placed her hand over his mouth.

"Oh, so now my own family is on board with her trying to kill me? Well, fuck you all. I apparently have some sort of money, so I'm just going to move out and take care of myself. I'll get my own healthcare worker and be done with this farcical attempt she makes at providing care. Truly, the volunteers at the Humane Society take better care of stray dogs than that bitch takes care of me. If you're my family and you love me, why do you allow her to work here?" Edward shouted.

I sunk to the floor and cried. I was just at the point where I couldn't take it any longer. The bitter man in front of me wasn't the man I fell in love with instantly, and I just couldn't do it another day. I needed the happy memories of the short time we were together or I'd be the one guzzling Demerol.

"Fine. I'll have the papers drawn up, and you tell me who you want named as your conservator. I'll leave you alone. You'll never have to hear anything from me again," I whispered.

"Bella, honey, you're family. You don't mean it. Take a week off. We'll take care of him, and try to jog his memories," Carlisle implored.

"No. We can't rely on the maybe. He wants nothing to do with me, so I have to let him go," I whispered as Alice wrapped her arms around me.

"Let me go? _LET ME GO?_ You have no hold over me, you stupid moron. Quit crying!" he shouted again. He began throwing things, and if Carlisle and Jasper wouldn't have grabbed him, he'd have totally torn up his room, likely hitting me with some of the shit he was throwing my way.

I thought about when he asked me for our first date, and I sobbed.

"_Your father will be fine. He's going to be a miserable patient, you know," Edward offered as we stood at the desk so I could get the prescription for pain pills he was going to write for Dad. My father, the big tough chief of police, was just as bad as a seven-year-old girl when it came to pain. A stupid fall from a ladder as he was cleaning the gutters of our little house had given me insight into a dad I never knew._

"_Yeah, I know. Hell, I'll keep him drugged up for a bit so I can have a little peace. How many of those can I give him before it appears to be attempted murder?" I teased._

_He laughed that gorgeous deep laugh. "They're only five-milligrams, so you might run out of pills before you kill him. Is there anyone who can help you with his care? Maybe my parents' cook, Katie, could stop by and keep him company so I can take you for dinner," he offered._

"_Why, Dr. Cullen, are you asking me on a date?" I teased with a smile. He was incredibly gorgeous, and I didn't know how any woman could have said no._

"_Obviously not very well. Miss Swan, I'd love the opportunity to take you out for the meal of your choice on any day and time of your choosing, as long as it's within forty-eight hours. You're a beautiful woman, and I'd be a damned fool if I didn't hit on you while I have your father's pain pills as leverage," he joked._

As I thought about it, it occurred to me he'd made the comment it wasn't the first time we'd discussed pain pills. "Mr. Cullen, why do you think I've tried to kill anyone with pain pills before?" I asked as I stood to my feet.

"Because you told me, you crazy bitch. You _told_ me," he shouted as Carlisle and Jasper held onto him. I could tell he was itching to come at me, and if he was remembering anything, I needed everyone to leave.

"All of you get out," I demanded.

"No, Bella, we're not leaving you here with him. He'll hurt you," Jasper responded as he slammed Edward onto the bed and held him down, him struggling the whole time.

"Let him go before he hurts himself. If he hurts me, it's fine. Get out," I commanded loudly.

"Edward, get into bed right now. If you lay a hand on her, you'll have to deal with me. I _know_ you remember how unpleasant that can be," Esme issued orders of her own.

"Yes, Mommy dearest, I know your wrath. I wouldn't dare lay a hand on your precious Miss Swan," he seethed.

I tried to hide my smile because I knew the hold she had over her son, and apparently, he did as well because he climbed into bed and crossed his arms over his chest in defiance. He looked out the window, refusing to look at anyone in the room.

"We're leaving the door open. You get out of here before you let him lay a hand on you, you hear me?" Jasper instructed sternly. He was such a great guy. I'd always loved Jasper. I remembered when I met him and Alice.

Edward and I were on our second date, and they _happened_ to stalk us to the pizza place where he and I had agreed to meet for a quick dinner because our first date had gone _very_ well. That night, I actually became a statistic. I was the girl who put out on the first date, but I'd challenge anyone who met the man to be able to resist him. On our second date, I didn't fare much better.

"_God, Bugsy, can't we get it to go? I swear I'll heat it up after I have my randy way with you. I can't get out of my head how good it felt to be inside you," Edward whispered to me as we sat on the parking lot of 'Paolo's Pizza', making out like teenagers. I'd had to work late that night at the stupid designer drapery store where I'd landed a job, so we wouldn't get to spend too much time together. _

"_Elmer, you're a smart man," I commented as I he sucked on my neck over the console. Just then, there was a knock on his window._

"_Fuck," he hissed as he hit the button to roll down the window._

"_What?" he snapped at the cute, young woman standing outside his window with an umbrella and a bright yellow rain coat._

"_Who's the hottie you're making out with on the parking lot of a pizzeria like you're still in high school? Hi, I'm Alice, Edward's sister. You are….?" she asked, causing me to laugh._

"_Aren't you supposed to be in Tacoma?" Edward snapped at her before I could answer._

"_Jasper has a gig out here this weekend. Mom and Dad said you took a pass on dinner, and Mom mentioned you had a date. Thankfully, there are only about three decent places in this town to eat. So?" she taunted._

"_I'm Bella Swan," I introduced as I leaned over the console to see her beautiful face._

"_Bella Swan, I'm Alice Cullen-Whitlock, and that handsome man over there looking very hungry is my husband, Jasper. Since we're all here, should we have dinner?" she suggested with a bounce._

"_How the hell did you find me?" Edward complained, though I could see he wasn't really pissed._

"_Brother dear, you drive an Aston Martin in Forks, Washington. It's not difficult to find you at all," she responded as she walked over to where her husband stood under the awning._

_We had a lovely dinner, and we went to 'The Lodge' that Saturday night to see Jasper play. Date three was a wonderful evening as well, and the fantastic sex at the end of the night left me breathless and in love. Yes, I was in love with Edward Cullen by the end of our third date. That thing he did with his tongue…ah…_

Jasper was an accomplished musician, though he was a historian by trade. He was also a big guy, and completely dedicated to our family. He didn't have family of his own, and when he married Alice, he adopted the Cullens just as I had. I was fortunate he was so protective of me.

"Jasper, I'll be fine. He won't hurt me," I assured. I had a feeling in my gut Edward wouldn't hurt me. He was angry and bitter, but I knew deep in my soul he'd never, ever lay a serious hand on me.

Somewhere inside him, buried deep, was the love we shared. We were passionate, and I took the hatred he spewed at me every day as his way to release the feelings. He didn't understand why he felt so strongly about me because he didn't remember loving me, and it frustrated him beyond reason.

He couldn't comprehend it, so he lashed out. In my heart, I knew…I knew…that our love was festering inside him like a splinter in one's finger, and even though it was infected with hate and frustration at the moment, it would eventually surface. I wasn't giving up on it by any stretch of the imagination.

I began cleaning up the books and broken lamp in the room as he stayed firmly planted on the bed. "Are you hungry, Edward?" I asked, remembering he'd thrown up at dinner.

"Excuse me?! You are to address me as Dr. or Mr. Cullen," he snapped.

"I apologize. Dr. Cullen, are you hungry?" I asked softly as I stacked his books on the nightstand where he liked them. I wondered if I should slip his birthday gift in between two in the stack. Would he notice it? Yes, he'd notice because he only wanted paperback books. He deemed the leather bound editions lining the book shelves of his parents' home likely carried "god knows how many years of disease." The first edition I got him was a beautiful burgundy leather bound book. It would stick out like a sore thumb.

"Of course I'm hungry. You didn't bring me dinner as you were supposed to do. You just left me, you heartless bitch. You just selfishly left. You're worthless," he complained. I ignored his outburst.

"Did you take those pills to get me back here, or were you really trying to kill yourself?" I asked.

"Oh, Miss Swan, if I was truly trying to kill myself, I'd find a much more creative way to do so. I'm a doctor, after all, and I know exactly how to kill myself. Do you think for a second I'd ever consider killing myself over the likes of you? That's ridiculous," he scoffed. I took a deep breath because he was in a mood, but I wasn't leaving.

"Then why am I here, Dr. Cullen?" I asked cautiously.

"You're under my parents' employ to do my bidding, and you abandoned your responsibilities. I wasn't exactly sure how many of those pills I was supposed to take because there was no list. If you're going to abandon me before I take my pills in the evening and you're not going to leave instruction, how am I to be held responsible?" he chastised. I tried to keep from smiling because I could tell that he was acting out because I was gone. As fucked up as it was, it gave me a little hope.

"I apologize. What would you like to eat? Maybe something light? Perhaps some fruit and yogurt?" I asked, remembering it was his usual breakfast before the accident.

"I don't like yogurt," he bitched.

"Are you sure? You haven't had it since I've been working for you," I prodded.

"Fine. I'll try it, but I don't want that horrible woman delivering it. You'd better bring it yourself," he ordered.

"I will. Would you like tea or perhaps juice?" I asked patiently.

"Peach tea," he snapped as he reached for a book on his nightstand.

I took the broken lamp with me to toss it, and I closed his door behind me. I went to the kitchen, finding the family sitting at the table. They were worried, and I knew it, but I saw it as a breakthrough I wanted to explore, and he was now actually calmer than he'd been in months.

"Hey, why the frowns and hand-wringing?" I asked as I went to the fridge and pulled out the yogurt and blueberries, raspberries, and strawberries, cutting it up exactly as I'd done for him in the mornings while he dressed to go to the hospital before….

"Bella, you can't continue to allow him to talk to you in that fashion and treat you so horribly," Alice stated. I could tell she'd been crying, and I hated it.

I stepped back into the hallway, seeing his door was closed because I didn't want a repeat of the afternoon. Once I was certain he wasn't skulking around, I walked back into the room, working my way around the table and hugging everyone in my family.

"Look, he had a breakthrough tonight. He remembered a joking discussion we had when he asked me out for our first date. He remembered me joking about doping up Charlie so I could go out with him. He teased me that night, saying I wouldn't have enough pills in the prescription to kill Charlie. I know you don't see it as a big thing, but I can't help but believe it's a big deal.

"Carlisle, place a call to Dr. Banner and tell him about it. See if he wants to see Edward or if there's anything we can do to encourage it. He took those pills on purpose to get me back over here because he was pissed I left early. He knew what the hell he was doing because he only took enough to make himself nauseas, not do any serious damage. That's gotta mean something," I whispered hopefully.

I quickly assembled a tray for him, turning to the family with a reassuring smile, and I made my way down the hall to his room, remembering to knock because he got really pissed off when anyone just burst into the room without his permission. He'd pegged me with that damn rubber ball he used for PT many times to convey his dislike of me coming in without knocking.

"Come in," he called. When I opened the door, I saw him with his glasses in place because he couldn't wear his contacts any longer, reading in bed.

"What's up Doc?" I called without thinking. I saw him stiffen, and I knew it was the wrong thing to say.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Cullen," I quickly followed up.

"I assume that was your attempt at a poorly executed joke. Clearly, witticisms elude you," he replied dryly.

"I guess it was," I answered as I placed the lovely breakfast tray over his lap, having flipped down the legs. I pulled the bottle of water out of my pocket for myself and pulled up a chair because we were going to have a discussion.

"Why do you think I tried to kill someone else?" I asked cautiously. I really didn't want to wear the yogurt home.

"I don't know. I remember a conversation I had with you or overheard you have with someone, likely when you first began annoying me while I was in the hospital. You're not really a healthcare worker are you?" he asked as he ate his yogurt and berries.

I took a deep breath. Another truth to reveal. "No, I'm not. I'm an interior designer," I confessed, flinching a bit and waiting for all hell to break loose.

"Why on earth would my parents hire an interior designer to take care of me?" he asked. It was a legitimate question, really.

"They didn't, actually. I volunteered for the job," I answered honestly, remembering the fit I pitched at the rehab facility when Carlisle insisted we should hire someone to take care of my husband. I waved the paperwork in front of them that gave me power of attorney, and I resisted vehemently.

"Great, so my parents sought out a volunteer. I was a doctor. I assume I have some money. Couldn't they at least spring for a professional?" he asked harshly.

"Yes, Dr. Cullen, you're very well-heeled when it comes to finances, but I pleaded with them to allow me to do this. You took care of my father when he was injured, and I wanted to repay you for what you did for him. Do you remember my father? Charlie Swan? He's the Chief of Police here in town," I offered, trying not to push him too much.

He finished the yogurt and berries, and placed the bowl on the tray. He didn't say he liked it, but he didn't complain. He picked up his tea and took a sip.

"He doesn't ring a bell, though I don't remember many of my patients. So, tell me about this suicidal husband of yours," he insisted.

I fought the tears, but I took a deep breath. I could get it out. I knew I could. I just couldn't show any emotion about it.

"He wasn't suicidal, Dr. Cullen. He was a doctor just like you. He was on his way home from work and was in an accident. We were set to go visit my father, as a matter of fact. It was an unfortunate thing that happened," I responded, resisting the urge to tell him the rest of the story.

"Oh, where did he work? Would I have known him?" he asked. I pondered my answer because no good would come of me telling him anything else.

"No, you didn't know him. So, would you like something more, or are you finished?" I asked as lightly as I could.

"Where do you live?" he asked with a bite in his voice. I didn't want to get him wound up because it was getting late and he needed to sleep.

"I live in town. I live in my husband's house. I actually decorated it myself. When I moved in, he was living like a bachelor…couch, lamp, big TV, bed. He always said it was because it needed a woman's touch. I moved in and I gave it that woman's touch, and now I live there alone with my memories," I whispered.

"He sounds like a pussy if he let you come in and change everything," Edward snapped.

"_Don't_. You can call me every name in the book and be as nasty to me as you want, but you can't make comments about my husband. I won't allow it. I'll put you…I'll quit. My husband…he was perfect. You, of all people, don't get to demean him, do you understand? I'll leave you to the likes of random nurses who won't put up with your bullshit. They'll cycle through here like commuters through a turnstile. My husband was a good, loving man, and you don't get to talk about him," I shouted as I grabbed the tray to walk away.

He grabbed it and held it so I couldn't remove it. "I'm sorry, Miss Swan. I was out of line. I can tell you loved him very much, and even an asshole like me can appreciate that. I'm sorry for your loss," he stated softly. I looked into his eyes and saw the sincerity I'd seen so many times.

My Edward…the man I loved…he was just inside, under the surface. I needed to talk to his doctor because there had to be a way…there had to be a way to find him and pull him back. I loved him too much to give up.

##

"I gave you strict orders I would only agree to one doctor's visit at a time. Why am I going to see that idiot today?" Edward complained from the back seat of the Mercedes. It was at his insistence that when I took him to his appointments, he'd ride in the back and I'd drive. I was the _help_ after all. I laughed about it, but wondered if he remembered the accident at all and wouldn't ever want to drive again.

"I'm sorry, but Dr. Banner is going on vacation, and he'll miss your appointment next week. If you behave, I'll take you for ice cream," I offered hearing him huff from the back seat.

"Miss Swan, I'm not ten. I don't need a bribe. I want to get home. Just…let's get this over with. The sooner I get this bullshit behind me, the sooner I can go back to work," he snapped. I felt my heart clench, because my darling husband wouldn't be able to go back to work, but if his memory came back, he might be able to consult. That was what I was holding out for. I had faith.

I had the radio on in the background, and when I heard Al Green, I turned it up a notch. It was our song, and I hoped maybe, just maybe, some familiar things could jar something loose. He didn't complain as he usually did when I had the radio turned on. He actually hummed to it.

I remembered our fourth date. That was the first night I danced with Edward Cullen.

"_Oh, I love this song. I remember my mom loved this song," I gushed as we drove to his penthouse. It was strange to me he had a penthouse in the only quasi-high rise building in Forks, but he did. It was damn near bare, but, as he teased, it had the essentials…a kitchen, a bed, and a bathroom. He stated that anything else was perfunctory. I laughed._

_When we arrived at his place, he parked and led me into the lobby to grab his mail. "Dr. C, how are you? Miss Swan," Jacob greeted. I smiled and waved to him. I didn't know him well because we'd only been dating for two weeks, but he seemed to know me._

_Edward stood over the trashcan in the mail alcove chanting "bill…junk…bill…junk." I felt a tug at my skirt and saw a gorgeous little girl standing there. _

_I stooped down. "Who might you be?" I asked._

_Edward looked down and smiled. "Miss Black, how are you this fine and lovely evening? This is my girlfriend, the beautiful Bella Swan. Bugsy, this is your competition, Miss Vanessa Black. Oh, do I? Why, I just might," Edward hedged, pulling two Hershey's kisses out of his pocket and handing them to her._

_She lit up. "Thanks Dr. Edward. Your girlfriend's pretty," the little girl announced._

_Just then, a beautiful woman appeared around the corner. "Vanessa Black. You get yourself back to that kitchen right now. You know better than to run out. Dr. Cullen, I'm sorry. You give her candy, and when she sees you, she just gravitates to you. Hi, miss. I'm Carlie Black, this little pest's mother," Carlie introduced._

"_Oh stop. I bribe her because if I Bella refuses to marry me, I'm hedging my bets, though I'll have to wait a while," Edward teased. It was the first time he brought up marriage, and I was breathless._

"_Mrs. Black, it's a pleasure to meet you, and Vanessa, you feel free to pester Dr. Cullen any time you'd like," I stated. We all laughed and Edward kissed the little girl on top of her head before he led me to the elevator. _

_Once we hit the top floor, he opened his apartment, pinning me to the door. "God, Bugsy, I couldn't eat fast enough. I've missed being inside you. Come on," he announced as he carried me back to his bedroom._

_He flipped open his laptop and pulled up YouTube, much to my surprise. He typed in a query, and when I heard Al Green singing over the speakers about staying together, Edward pulled me into his arms and smiled. "Dance with me, Bugsy." _

"_Oh, so you like Al Green?" I asked as we gently swayed against each other._

"_I've only heard this song a few times, but I listened to the words in the car, and I believe it's quite relevant to our situation. Let's stay together whether times are good or bad, happy or sad. I'll stay with you, my sweet girl. Will you stay with me through good times and bad times?" he asked as he picked me up and did a little fancy step because I couldn't dance worth a shit._

"_Good or bad…happy or sad…" I pledged, meaning every word to the bottom of my soul._

"We're here," I announced as I pulled into a parking spot in front of Dr. Banner's office. _Good or bad…happy or sad._

"Lovely," he commented sarcastically. We walked into the building and took the elevator to the second floor. Edward had his cane, but I noticed he was less dependent on it, which gave me hope.

We walked into the colorful waiting room, and he sat down as I signed him in. When I joined him on the couch, he turned to me. "Why does he talk to you first?"

I scrambled because I didn't know how to answer him. Suddenly, something popped into my head. "I have to report your habits over the week so you two have something to discuss because you're never forthcoming with him. If I don't give him a report, he doesn't know what to talk to you about," I lied.

"Well, today, I want to be present when you give your report. I'm tired of the lies and deceit you portray, Miss Swan. There's something else going on, and I'm going to figure it out. I'm going in with you," he ordered.

I worried, but it seemed important to him, so I agreed. When my name was called he rose from the couch and followed me, never touching me. He never touched me which killed me, but to him I was an employee, so I could see the logic. I wasn't important. I got it.

\\\

_**E/N: You're all perfectly wonderful! Thank you for your reviews and I promise, all of your questions are relevant and will be answered. I'm not a doctor, at all, so if there's something blatantly wrong with my research, I apologize. I realize I'll be asking you to perhaps give me a little creative license as we move along. I appreciate it.**_

_**Thanks to Scorpio11 for pre-reading the first chapter, and Southern Heifer for reading the whole thing and encouraging me to post it (with the caveat that if it was too sad and she did bodily harm to herself, I'd move in and take care of her family. I'm happy to report I'm still in my own home and she's likely celebrated a wonderful holiday with her loved ones). Love you ladies!**_

_**Can't wait to hear from you. Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Thank you for your reviews. I'm blown away!**_

_**SMeyer owns. I don't infringe.**_

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3.

"So, Miss Swan, what's going on?" Dr. Banner asked with a smile.

"Well, he still hates me, but we actually had a discussion this week wherein he didn't call me names and try to hit me with that damn stress ball. Oh, wait, he tried to kill himself one evening after he took all of his meds at one time to ensure I returned to the house," I stated, hearing Edward laughing from the other end of the couch.

"You say I'm the crazy one? She's drowning in her own sorrow. She won't even talk about this husband who supposedly walked on water and committed suicide to get away from her. _She left me_. Abandoned me without instruction for my evening medication, so it's her fault I nearly overdosed. She's the crazy one in this sick relationship we share. She should be sprawled on this couch under the microscope. Not me. I just need to be able to walk on my own so I can walk away from this crazy bitch," Edward sniped.

I flinched, pulling at the hem of my blouse, trying so hard to block the tears. I couldn't cry here. We'd had a breakthrough, and I just needed to get it out and take my leave. "Well, I'm happy Dr. Cullen hasn't lost the ability to continuously berate me. There was a breakthrough.

"He remembers a conversation wherein I joked about giving my father a large dose of medication when he broke his arm so I could go on a date with my future _husband_. It was an innocent conversation… playful flirting early on in our relationship, but Dr. Cullen reminded me of the discussion when he accused me of trying to kill him with an overdose.

"My father's alive and well, by the way. I'll leave you to it," I stated as I walked out of the room and straight to the bathroom to cry, just as I did during every visit.

Once I walked out of the bathroom, I saw Jane standing there with a Diet Coke and a Twix. I laughed. "It's time for my break. Wanna share?" she asked. I nodded and followed her to the back where the employees lounge was situated.

"How are you, Bella?" she asked. She was married to Dr. Felix Banner, and she'd been a support system I never counted on. She was actually very friendly and willing to listen to me, much as her husband listened to Edward.

"Well, let's recount. He pitched a fit and threw all kinds of things at me the other night because he was so pissed off I left at six instead of eleven. He purposely took extra pain medicine so Carlisle would call me back over. I can't begin to repeat the nasty things he says to me and about me. This is new…he determined my husband committed suicide to get away from me. He keeps bringing that up. Hell, I'm about ready to commit suicide. It's been six months. I think he had a breakthrough, though a small one, but it was only to accuse me of attempted murder. I don't know…I just don't know…" I reported as I took a bite of the caramel, cookie, and chocolate goodness that was a _Twix_ bar.

"You do know, don't you, no one would blame you if you walked away? He will be functional in a couple of months, Bella, but that doesn't mean he'll remember what you two meant to each other. For one reason or another, he has this animosity toward you that defies reason. Honey, you need to think long and hard about it," she advised, not for the first time.

"Jane, I took the same vows you took when you married Felix. Good times and bad. Well, this is the bad. I love him…not _this_ him, but the man he was and the man he can be again. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt he's in there fighting to come out, and if fighting with me irritates him enough he remembers more things, then I'll make it. I'll wait it out. Our one year anniversary is in August. If he hasn't remembered our life or softened toward me because I know there's a distinct possibility he'll never remember our life, I'll walk away and allow him make a life for himself. I'd never force myself on him. I'll sign over the conservatorship to Carlisle, and when he feels Edward won't harm himself, he'll dissolve it.

"I love him too much to hold him hostage, and I can't allow him to continue to taint the memories I have of the wonderful, too-short life we had together, so I'll give it two more months before I walk away," I promised.

"Honey, I'm not worried about Edward. I'm worried about _you_," she commented as she sipped her cup of Diet Coke.

We both heard Felix calling for me, and after a quick hug, I walked down the hall. "Here she is. Okay, Bella, I'll see you two in two weeks," Felix offered with a cocked eyebrow. That look meant "call me later." I smiled and nodded as Edward and I left the office.

"It's about time. I'm going to be late for my physical therapy," Edward snapped, yet again.

I turned to him, fed up with his attitude for the day. "Do you not think I called Emmett and told him you had two doctors' appointments today? He adjusted the schedule, you cranky ass," I retorted, seeing the surprise in his face. I hurried to the stairs and left his whiney ass to wait for the elevator. When he came to the car, I had the air conditioning at full blast so I didn't have to listen to his complaints about the temperature.

When we pulled up the driveway at his parents' house, I stopped for him to get out. Before he left the car, I barked, "You need to change into workout gear. I won't be there today."

"Good," he called as he exited the car. Once he was clear, I pulled around the house and into the garage, seeing Esme had arrived just before us.

She had a smile on her face as she waited for me to exit the car. I knew she wanted me to tell her he'd had some sort of an epiphany, just as she had every other time. The fact I had to disappoint her again made me sick to my stomach.

I rose from the car and walked around to where she stood on the driveway. "So any progress?" she asked hopefully. I couldn't blame her at all. I wanted him to come out of that office and throw his arms around me and pull me into the hug he used to give me. I wanted him to say, "I love you so much, and I'm so sorry about what a miserable prick I've been. I remember our happy life, and I'm ready to get back to it. Let's go make another baby, Bugsy." It didn't exactly go that way, did it?

"No, I'm sorry. He's pissed off again. I have to call Felix and see what he can tell me. Esme, I'm not trying to be a bitch here, but for my own sanity, I can only give this a few more months. I know I'm breaking my marriage vows, but how much…" I sobbed into her shoulder. At least someone hugged me. Thank God for family because otherwise, I'd have no physical contact in my life whatsoever. That was truly a sad state of affairs, right there.

She ushered me into the house where Katie, God bless her, had warm chocolate chip cookies and milk waiting for me. She made me miss my mom. She'd died when I was five, and it was just Charlie and me until I met Edward. A car accident took her just like a car accident took my loving husband, leaving me with a shell of a man. The irony wasn't lost on me in the least.

##

"Good morning, Dr. Cullen. How are you today?" I asked cheerfully. It was a week later. Esme and Carlisle had forced me to go with Alice and Jasper to Massachusetts to get away. There was a medical library at Boston College the family had endowed in Edward's name, and I was there to deliver the speech.

It had been cathartic, really, talking about what a wonderful doctor my husband is…because I refused to say 'was'. People knew about the accident, and after my short dedication speech, they all wished him a speedy recovery, but we kept him away from news and television so he didn't know anything about what went on outside the cocoon we'd established for him. Maybe it was cruel, but we agreed it was necessary.

"Oh, I thought the family finally wised up and fired you, you worthless waste of air. Well, I'm happy to report I don't need to see your less-than-attractive face any longer. Thank you for doing a shitty job, but you're dismissed. I had a week without you, and I rather liked it, so be gone," he dismissed.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Cullen, but you don't get a say in the matter. You have a conservator, and they make the decisions, not you," I announced as I went about tidying up his room, slipping in my earbuds and listening to the love songs we'd enjoyed together as we made love. It helped me get through the bitterness if I could remember how great we were together, and well, Janet Jackson had a way about her that we loved to get busy to. Those were the things I had to keep in my head to survive.

I could see he hadn't let anyone in his room the entire time I was gone, so I went to the wardrobe in the corner of the room and pulled fresh towels and linens, gathering all of the dirty ones as he sat in a large leather desk chair, playing a memory game Dr. Banner had suggested could perhaps help stimulate his brain.

He was shouting, and I couldn't hear him, but I could see he was pissed, so I pulled out the earbuds, hoping for the best. It wasn't the best.

"Where'd you go anyway? Some whack-job-grieving-widows-of-suicidal-husbands retreat?" he snapped. Just as I was about to snap back at him, there was a knock on the door.

I stood looking at Edward as I held a basket of dirty laundry. There was another knock, and he ordered, "Are you so fucking dense you don't know that sound means someone's at the door. Open it, you ingrate."

I opened the door to see Jasper standing there. "Is his royal highness receiving, today?" Jasper joked.

"Please, someone with a brain and a vocabulary not reminiscent of a nine-year old. Come in, Jasper," Edward called. I stepped aside and let Jasper in the room. I dropped the basket in the hallway to take to the laundry room later, and I went about making the bed.

Jasper sat down in a chair across from the desk and asked, "Edward, how've you been?"

"I was fine until _she_," he snarled just as I was whacked in the face with the blue rubber ball, "came back. Are you this illusive conservator? I'd like to lodge a complaint."

Jasper stood so quickly he flipped the chair. I tossed the ball into the floor and went back to making the bed with tears in my eyes. God knew it wasn't the first bruise I'd received from that ball. His aim had improved substantially, so I chose to dwell on the positive.

"Bell, could you leave Edward and me to speak alone? I'll finish the bed," Jasper suggested.

"No you won't. That's her goddamn job. She should be good for something, even if it's just domestic chores," Edward barked.

I looked at Jasper, seeing a soft smile and a head nod toward the door. "I'll go put laundry in. I'll finish the bed when I get back, Jasper, but thank you," I replied as I walked out the door, closing it behind me. I tried to listen to what Jasper was saying, but the door was too thick, so I simply picked up the basket and went to load the washer.

I walked into the kitchen and saw Alice standing at the counter where the intercom system was mounted. "Alice! What are you doing?" I whispered, placing the basket on the kitchen table.

She walked to where I stood, leaning in and cupping her hand over my ear. "Jasper turned on the intercom button so you could listen in case you hear something you can report to Dr. Banner," she whispered. I nodded, and the two of us huddled around the intercom like nosey old women over a fence.

"Where'd she go?" Edward asked Jasper.

"She told you. She went to put in…" Jasper began.

"Not now, you moron. Where was she last week?" Edward inquired.

"Hey, brother, don't speak to me that way. I know Bella puts up with your shit, but I sure as fuck won't," Jasper snapped.

"Fine. I apologize. Now, where was she last week? She has a habit of just taking off when it damn well pleases her, and I know we don't pay her, but it's extremely unprofessional. I have money, and I want to hire a professional, not endure a witless volunteer. Are you the conservator?" Edward pried.

"Look, you really have no idea what you put that woman through. Since your…since she started taking care of you, she's lost weight, she's lost the light in her eyes, and your constant berating isn't necessary. Why do you dislike her so much?" Jasper asked.

"Lucky me. The amateur psychologist is in session. Well, okay. You want to know why I hate her…because dislike isn't nearly a strong enough term. I hate her because she's stupid. I hate her because she feeds me that fake apathy bullshit when I know she's just pitying the poor cripple. I hate her because she can remember the last year of her life and I can't. If anyone deserves to remember things, it's me, not that ignorant twit. I doubt she's done anything worth remembering anyway," Edward explained.

I felt the tears, and that time, I couldn't stem them. I simply let them fall. I felt Alice's comforting hand on my shoulder, and as good as it felt, it was doing nothing to alleviate the pain.

"Edward, that woman's sacrificed more than you know. She's had just as difficult a year as you, and I'd bet if you asked her, she'd gladly trade places with you. Some scars aren't on the surface. Some are deep inside, but they hurt just as much," Jasper soothed.

"Oh yes, poor Miss Swan. Her husband died. Well, boo-fucking-hoo. I don't know how stupid that bastard was to settle for her, but he's probably happy he's dead," Edward replied harshly.

"Ed, her husband isn't dead. He's missing. He was a great guy and a very good friend, and he's missing. She feels that pain every day. Maybe you could give her a little bit of a break," Jasper suggested quietly.

"At least she had someone who cared about her, even if he wised up and took off. I had no one. I'm left to be cared for by the grieving bitch that doesn't have sense to see it for what it is. He took off on her, and he's not coming back. I have to bear the brunt of her disdain for men because some guy wised up. I want someone else," Edward complained. I sunk to the floor, unable to listen to anything more.

It hurt so much to hear his vitriol. _My_ Edward didn't have that kind of anger and hatred inside him. If the driver who hit him hadn't died, I'd have killed the woman myself in that moment. I always felt sorry for her family because she didn't have enough concern for her husband and children not to drive drunk after an office Christmas party. In that moment, I wished I was the one who was dead and she had to live with the consequences of her bad decision.

I heard Alice gasp, so I turned to see her standing at the counter again. "Don't tell me anymore, please. I can't take it," I begged as I crawled across the kitchen and into the laundry room. I leaned against the dryer for a minute and closed my eyes. I thought back through our memories and settled on one that would make me happy again and remind me why I was trying so hard to free my husband trapped inside the bitter, beautiful shell of a man down the hall.

"_Well, Mrs. Cullen, welcome home. It's an awful place, but based on your background in design, I expect you'll whip it into shape. Now, that being said, I'm going to take you to bed because I've got rounds in the morning, and I can't waste a precious second of time," he stated as he carried me over the threshold of our home I'd moved into a few months prior. It wasn't that bad. _

_I giggled because he didn't put me down for a moment. He carried me back to the bedroom, having instructed the driver to drop the bags and insisting I give him a tip because he couldn't reach into his pocket._

_He dropped me on the bed and pulled off my flats, followed by my jeans and then my panties and Dr. Cullen showed me the stars with that magical tongue. When his fingers joined the game, I didn't hesitate to scream his name. _

_After he was satisfied I was satisfied, he peeled off his jeans, boxers, and t-shirt. He crawled slowly up the bed to rest on top of me. "I'm so happy you agreed to marry me. I know it was a whirlwind, Bugsy, but I just believe we got it right. I'm usually not such a spontaneous guy, but with you in my life, I find all my years of practiced control have flown right out the window," he whispered as he circled his index finger around my left nipple, winding me up yet again._

"_I love you. Now, I'm going to shower, and I suppose you should go to bed due to your early rounds and all," I teased. I struggled to roll him off of me, but he wasn't budging. He had such a playful look on his face I never wanted to see it fade._

"_See this," he teased, holding up his left hand and wiggling his platinum wedding band, "this entitles me unlimited access to my wife. It means, I can demand sex anytime and anywhere."_

_I laughed. "Oh really? And I have no say in this?" _

"_None at all, as a matter of fact. Do you not remember that part of the wedding vows? Um, I believe it went 'I promise to love, honor, cherish, and fuck my husband anywhere and anytime he desires, no questions asked'? Yeah, that was it. Anywhere and anytime. Just be glad I didn't demand the elevator," he joked. The rest of the night, the man loved me, and I knew I'd definitely give him his "anywhere and anytime." That swivel of his hips sealed the deal._

\\\

_**I know…he's still a harsh bastard. I will tell you, it will get better. We've just got to get through the bad and get to the good. I love hearing from you. I know you're flustered as to why they don't tell him Bella's his wife, but it will be explained soon.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**You all ROCK! Thank you for your love of this story. I know parts of it are hard to get through, but I appreciate you sticking with me.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I don't infringe.**_

_**\\\**_

4.

I was fixing Edward's lunch on the first Friday in August. Time was running out on my self-imposed exit strategy, and I wasn't happy about it. I'd tried so hard, hoping he'd remember anything, but he hadn't. He was, however, a little nicer to me, which made me very suspicious.

As I was about to carry the tray to the dining room, the doorbell rang. Edward, Kate and I were the only three in the house, and as far as I knew, he was in the gym working out. He only had to use the cane first thing in the morning until his hip loosened up, which seemed to really be the only thing that bothered him aside from the ever present tremor in his hand which would make it impossible for him to perform the intricate surgeries he'd performed in the past. At least he was progressing physically, tremor aside.

I went to the door, opening it to find a short, portly man standing there in a business suit with a briefcase. "May I help you?" I asked.

He stuck out his hand. "I'm Jason Jenks, Dr. Cullen's attorney. He's expecting me," he announced. I stepped aside to let him in, but he wasn't getting any further than the foyer. Peter Barrett was our attorney who'd handled everything for us after the accident. Jason Jenks was a name I'd never heard in my life.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Cullen hired you in what capacity?" I asked.

"You are?" he asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"I'm Isabella C…Swan. I'm his healthcare worker," I introduced. I didn't know what the guy wanted, and I damn well wasn't going to give him anything he might let slip to Edward.

"I see. Well, I don't see horns or a tail," he commented with a laugh. Clearly, Edward had _mentioned_ me to the attorney.

"Yes, Dr. Cullen absolutely adores me. I'm sorry, but the family has an attorney, Peter Barrett," I informed.

"Does Mr. Barrett represent you as well, Miss Swan?" he asked as he reached into his briefcase, pulling out a pad and pen. I looked to see him writing Peter's name on the pad, and then he looked up at me for an answer.

"As a matter of fact, he does. Why?" I asked.

"Ah, Mr. Jenks. Right on time. Please, come with me. Miss Swan, hold lunch," Edward barked as he walked into the foyer. The two men strolled away to Edward's room, closing the door.

I went the intercom and pulled an "Alice," hitting the button to listen but not be heard. "How's your heart fairing these days? Still keeping up with the diet and exercise? It's been what? Two years?" Edward asked the man.

"Actually, twenty months. I heard about your accident, Dr. Cullen. You're looking remarkably well, sir. Will you be practicing again soon?" Jenks asked.

"That's one of the things I'd like to address with you. My first order of business is to get that woman out of my life. I need to know exactly what kind of hold she has over my family, or inversely, my family has over her.

"I suspect it has something to do with my accident. I was told the other driver, a woman, was killed, but I have a feeling that's not the case. I believe Isabella Swan was driving that other car, and she's struck some sort of deal with the authorities that if she nurses me back to health, she won't spend time in prison. She might be in some sort of house arrest situation as well, because she never goes anywhere except here or home. I need to know everything about her you can find out, including the status of this missing husband of hers," Edward instructed.

_Shit!_ I needed to contact Peter because if Jason Jenks started prying into my life, he'd find out the truth, and then Edward would find out everything. I was certain the truth would set Edward's recovery back immensely, if not obliterate it completely.

I quickly grabbed my cellphone and ran out to the back patio. The phone rang twice before I heard "Barrett & Glenn. This is Jessica."

"Hi Jessica, it's Isabella Cullen. Is Peter around? I need to speak to him immediately. I have a huge problem," I explained. _Huge problem…huge understatement!_

_##_

"I'll be in touch, Dr. Cullen," I heard Jenks remark in the hallway by the front door.

"Thank you. Only speak with me. No one else, you understand? Attorney/client privilege is as binding as doctor/patient, I assume," Edward probed.

"Yes it is, sir. I'll get right on this. Good-bye," Jenks responded before I heard the front door close. I went to the fridge and grabbed the sandwich and cut-up fruit, placing them on the tray along with a glass of lemonade.

Edward walked into the kitchen, his limp barely noticeable at all. "Dr. Cullen, it's quite nice outside. Would you prefer to eat on the back patio?" I asked as he stood staring at me. When I looked up, I saw a look in his eyes that almost looked like he was happy. I guessed he was happy to think he was going to be rid of me. Well, one way or another, he probably was.

"That sounds lovely. Why don't you make yourself something and join me? You look as though you could use a meal. If that missing husband returns he might get a look at you and go missing again," Edward joked. I, however, didn't laugh. I slammed my hand on the counter and turned to face him. The look on his face immediately shifted to one of remorse.

"I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. Please, join me. You never answer my questions, and I fear our time together is coming to an end. I really know nothing about you. You're not very forthcoming, and you appear to know a lot about me, including what my dick looks like," he sort of apologized. He was, however, referring to when he was in the hospital and I was in the room when the nurse came in to check his catheter, plus the times when he was first home and I gave him showers once he could get to the bathroom to sit in the shower chair. I knew he resented it, and if I thought a stranger was getting a look at me I didn't want, I'd probably feel violated as well.

"Dr. Cullen, I'll answer any questions you have. You don't ask me anything about myself," I retorted as I grabbed a bowl of fruit. I placed it on his tray and followed him outside, getting a very nice look at my husband's attractive backside on the way. He was a bit thin, but he was bulking up with muscle with all of the exercise every day.

He held the back door open for me, and after I was outside, he closed it, taking the seat where I was setting his place. I had everything situated to his liking, because he'd become quite the prima donna regarding proper placement of his food and utensils, so I sat down next to him. The old Edward, he loved sitting in bed in his boxers after making love, dining on cold Chinese from the carton. I couldn't see _this_ Edward ever doing anything so pedestrian…or utterly enjoyable.

"So, prior to your husband's unexpected departure, what was a day like at the Swan house? Oh, wait, your maiden name is Swan, isn't that what you told me? What's your married name?" he asked. I could tell he was trying to get information out of me for whatever his plan was to get rid of me, so I decided to be evasive as well.

"I didn't take my husband's name," I answered as I picked at the melon and berries in my bowl. He was eating his sandwich without complaint for once. I was happy his appetite had come back. I only wished mine would.

"Oh, really? Why? Professional reasons?" he asked sarcastically. Truth was, I proudly took my husband's name, but explaining that to Edward wasn't an option.

"Actually, yes. Things like that weren't important to…Tony. He wasn't hung up on anything of the sort," I explained.

I remembered a discussion Edward and I had the night he proposed. It was after we'd left the Space Needle and stopped at "Bella Luna" to get dinner. When we got home that night, we sat down on the couch to make plans, and I hoped fuck like rabbits.

"_So, you've said yes. It's a verbal contract, Miss Swan. No going back now," he teased as he kissed my neck on the couch. He'd just placed the ring on my finger, and we were working out a few things._

"_Ah, so I'm effectively trapped, then, Dr. Cullen," I answered as I climbed onto his lap, straddling his thighs._

"_As a matter of fact, you are. Now, if we go to the courthouse tomorrow and get the license, we can get married on Friday and have the weekend as a mini-honeymoon. I don't want to wait, Bella. I want you to quit that shitty job because I don't like that asshole calling here all hours of the evening to ask ridiculous questions. He's using the 'keep me on her mind to break up her relationship' strategy. After we're married, you can look for something else unless you don't want to work," he suggested._

_I wanted to work because I couldn't imagine how I'd fill my days if I didn't. "I tell ya what, I'll look for another job after we get back from this whirlwind Cullen Marriage Tour 2010," I answered as I played with his hair._

"_I won't complain about that on one condition. Are you going to tell that asshole you got married and your husband doesn't appreciate his calling you all the time?" Edward asked as he slid me further down his lap, settling me right over his hard cock._

_I wiggled a little, hearing him groan as his lips attached themselves to my neck. "How about this…I'll change my name to Cullen so there's no doubt in his mind I'm a happily married woman," I suggested._

_He pulled away and looked into my eyes with so much love, I nearly cried. "You'd…you'd do that? Isn't it a lot of trouble?" he asked._

_I shrugged. "I don't mind, unless you don't want me to." _

"_Oh, God, no. I very much want you to. I want everyone to know you chose me to be your partner for the rest of your life, Bella," he whispered._

"_My dear fiancé, will you make love to me?" I whispered as I grazed my lips along his neck. Very quickly, he stood and pulled my skirt up and my panties down. He opened his belt and slacks, shoving both down his thighs so fast I'd have thought they were on fire._

_He sat back down, placing a kiss on my belly button before he pulled me onto his lap again. "Assume the position, Bugsy," he teased. I moved up to my knees and positioned him where I needed him more than anything, and we went to town, right there on the couch. His finger circled just above where we were joined, winding me up quickly._

"_God, Edward," I gasped as I rode him faster._

"_Yeah…yeah…just like that, baby. Give it to me, please, Bella," he moaned. His words did the trick, and my body exploded as I continued to move on him, slowing down a bit but moving harder, just as he liked._

"_That's one…the goal is five…" he announced as he released inside me. That night, he lived up to his promise._

_Snap! Snap!_ "Miss Swan? Where'd you go? Your face is quite flushed. Are you okay?" Edward asked snapping me back to the clusterfuck that was my current life.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Cullen. I'm fine. It's just a bit warmer out than I anticipated," I lied as I slipped off the cardigan I was wearing over the silk tank I'd donned that morning. Early on, he'd established a dress code for me, the dick. Nothing above the knee, and my arms were to be covered from the elbows to shoulders. I was sure I'd hear him bitch at me any moment now. I knew it was his way of exerting some sort of control, and I gave it to him, as ridiculous as it was. I'd give the man anything he needed because I'd already given him my heart…he just didn't remember it.

I happened to glance to my right and saw him staring at my chest, which surprised me. I hoped maybe if I jutted them out a bit more, it might remind him of the fact that before the accident, he was basically my bra.

First thing that came off when I got home from work, my bra. Weekends when we hung out at home…no bra or panties. He was quite a sex fiend, my adorable husband, and I loved it about him. Those memories alone kept me steadfast on my journey, however fruitless as it might be. I loved him, and it was what one did for people they loved.

"So, um, any other questions?" I asked, trying to divert his attention from my breasts. Apparently, some things didn't change brain trauma or not.

"Um, yes. So, prior to your…why exactly did you…no, um. Prior to your decision to become my Florence Nightingale, where did you work?" he probed. He was pretty cute when he thought he was being coy.

"I have my own business. Well, I have a partner, and she's taking care of everything right now, but we discuss things when she needs my opinion," I responded vaguely.

"Oh, so you're laying all of the responsibility on your partner? How does she feel about that?" he snarked. _There's the Dr. Cullen I'm used to!_

"She understands completely, and she's very supportive," I replied taking a sip of my water.

"You know, the one puzzling thing regarding my accident is that my parents told me the driver of the other car was killed. What do you know about her?" he asked. I wished I could call Dr. Banner before I answered, but sometimes, a girl had to go by the seat of her pants.

"She was a mother with a husband and children. She didn't care enough about them not to crawl behind the wheel of a car after she'd had too many cocktails at the office Christmas party, and she didn't care about anyone who crossed her path. That's all I know about her," I responded, trying hard to withhold the venom I had for the woman. Tanya Denali would never be anyone I would miss. Her family had my utmost sympathy, but that woman…never.

"Did my parents attend the funeral?" he asked. They did and I went with them because I had to get a look at the woman who had stolen my life, even if she was in a box. I didn't count on two small children and a grieving husband, but I was doing a lot of grieving of my own at the time.

"I believe they did. Just because she was selfish and had no regard for those traveling the road that night doesn't mean her family should bear the brunt of your loved one's hostility. They had no more say in the matter than I…I believe your parents did when you were struck," I answered. I felt the tears when I thought of the phone call we'd had that early evening before he left the hospital.

"_Babe, can you just pack for me? We'll pack for Hawaii when we get home Christmas evening. I'm sorry, but I had an emergency by-pass and I just finished," Edward told me as I stood in our living room, shared suitcase waiting for him to come home._

"_I already did. I thought it was something of the sort. How's your patient?" I asked. I was so fucking anxious for him to get home so I could tell him about the baby. I planned to tell him first by giving him the Christmas ornament commemorating the news and the year. I'd found a small specialty shop near mine and Esme's office, and when I called and talked to the owner, she came up with the perfect thing._

_It was a clear glass ball with pink and blue confetti inside. On the outside was a hand-painted stork with the year. It was perfect, and I couldn't wait to give it to him and hopefully have a little hump-hump before we went to my father's place in the country where we spent Christmas. It was a little cabin with paper thin walls, so sex was definitely going to be off the table for the newlyweds, but after I gave Edward the news he was going to be a daddy, I knew there was no way to keep the man off me._

"_Remarkably well. He was in the grocery store when he started experiencing chest pains. Luckily, a savvy box boy ran to the medicine aisle and grabbed a bottle of aspirins. Seems those commercials on television strike home with a lot more people than just those over fifty. My patient will be fine. Dad's going to look in on him in the morning. I'll be home as soon as I can. I'm going to shower and change," he informed._

"_Actually, Dr. Cullen, I've got a surprise for you, and after I give it to you, I thought we could shower together and maybe conserve a little water," I purred suggestively._

"_Oh, Mrs. Cullen, I like that idea. I'm on my way. If I get stopped, I'm using my father-in-law's good name to get out of it. Start the water, baby. I'll be home before you know it," he promised._

"_Will do, Doc," I told him._

_Just as I was about to hit the end button on the phone, I heard, "Bella, I love you more than anything in the world." Then, the line went dead._

The love and compassion my husband had inside him was the thing that kept me going. I knew in my soul it was there. I just had to figure out how the hell to unlock it.

I looked up at Esme's gorgeous garden and saw her roses through bleary eyes. It was then I realized I was crying. I picked up my napkin and tried to discretely dry my eyes, but Edward didn't miss a thing. "Crying? For whom? The poor widower and his family?" he asked sarcastically.

"Dr. Cullen, I can have empathy for the man if I put myself in his position. Believe it or not, it's actually not difficult for me to put myself in his shoes. I've suffered loss in my life. Are you immune to feeling compassion for your fellow mankind?" I asked as I blew my nose.

"I save my compassion for those who deserve it, Miss Swan," he responded coldly.

I checked my too-expensive watch, which was actually a birthday gift from him right after we got married, and I saw it was nearly 2:00 PM. I had a meeting at Peter's office at 5:00, so I needed to delicately deliver the news to the angry man next to me. "Dr. Cullen, I'm going to clean up now. Do you need anything? I have to leave at five today. I've got an appointment," I informed.

"What's your appointment? Business? Pleasure? Parole Officer?" he pried.

"It's none of those things," I answered.

"So, Miss Swan, do you have children, or did the missing Tony take them with him?" he asked caustically. I thought about how to answer him because we'd told him so many half-truths, and I hated lying to him.

"Yes, you could say my Tony took our child with him when he disappeared. Anything else?" I snapped.

"Could you bring me my book? I think I'll stay out here and read. It's a lovely afternoon, just as you pointed out," he responded. I gathered the dishes to go inside, and after I placed the tray in the kitchen, I went to his room and grabbed the latest James Patterson novel he had been reading. Just as I approached the sliding door to deliver it, along with another glass of lemonade, I saw him pacing the yard with a phone to his ear.

I slipped out and dropped the book on the table, grabbing my sweater in the process. As I walked back toward the door, I heard him shriek, "SHE DID WHAT? That demented bitch." I was pretty sure I was the bitch to which he was referring.

\\\

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Thank you so much for your reviews. I truly enjoy reading them, and I'm happy you're all invested in these characters. I appreciate it.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I, sadly, do not.**_

_**\\\**_

5.

"Peter, how on earth are we going to keep Jason Jenks from telling him what he'll find out about me?" I asked as I nervously paced his office, telling him what I'd overheard when Jenks and Edward met earlier in the day. I wasn't proud of the way I'd obtained the information, but I needed answers just the same.

"I put in a call to the ass, but he hasn't called me back, Bella. I honestly don't know how to keep him from finding out the whole thing. If Jenks would have called me back, I could have given him the story and shut him up, but if it was indeed him on the phone with Edward when you went outside, I fear the damage is done." I was certain Peter was right, but I truly hated to contemplate it.

"Can't you get some emergency-motion-something to keep him from disclosing any of it? This is going to do more harm than good I just know it, Peter. I suppose I should call Felix and see if he can meet me at the house. God, this is a mess," I lamented with tears in place.

Peter picked up the phone and dialed a number. I dried yet another batch of tears, and remembered the horrible call I'd received from Carlisle the night of the accident.

_I'd been pacing the apartment, so excited to tell Edward the news about the baby. "You're going to be so loved, little one. Your daddy is going to be so excited," I said aloud as I hugged my flat stomach._

_The house phone rang, and I assumed it was Edward calling to tell me it was another emergency that was going to keep him from coming home. I looked at the caller ID and saw it was the hospital, and I was about to get pissed. _

_I could call my father and tell him we'd be late…if he was somewhere he could get service. I didn't want him to worry, but I wasn't leaving without my husband. It was our first Christmas together, and we were going to have a week in Hawaii after. I was pregnant, and Esme and I'd just partnered in her business. Life was going so well…_

"_Elmer, you'd better be calling to ask me if I'd prefer roses or paper whites when you finally get your ass home," I threatened._

"_Bella, honey, it's me. Carlisle. You need to come down to the hospital," he instructed. Just then, my doorbell rang. I opened it to see my dad standing there. I thought he'd have been well on his way to the cabin._

"_Carlisle, what's wrong? Has something happened with the family?" I asked as I studied my father, seeing a look of worry on his face. _

_My dad took the phone from me. "Carlisle, I'm here. Thanks for calling me first. We'll be there in a few." He hung up and looked at me._

"_Bells, get your coat, honey. Edward was in an accident on his way home. He's in critical condition from what Carlisle told me. I'll explain it on the way," Dad ordered as he began turning out lights in our house. _

_I hurried into my boots and coat because I could see it was raining, and Dad actually used the siren to get us to the hospital. "What happened? I spoke to him an hour-and-a-half ago and he was on his way?" I asked, feeling my heart splinter as we sped toward the emergency room._

"_He was t-boned by a drunk driver. She was killed on impact. They're still assessing him, Bells. Carlisle said it's serious, honey," he explained._

_I felt the tears immediately, and I swallowed them back. It wasn't time to fall apart. I had to get to him. I had to get to the love of my life and make sure he didn't leave me. He'd promised he wouldn't, and I was going to hold him to it._

"Okay, we'll be there in a bit. I need to cancel an appointment. How much damage?" I heard Peter ask. I couldn't fathom to whom he was speaking or what had happened, but my gut churned just the same.

"You had to sedate him? Is he conscious? Uh-huh. Okay. Bye," Peter signed off.

"What?" I asked as I held onto the chair in front of me.

"It's Edward. Jenks told him everything, and he didn't take the news well. He's apparently done a lot of damage at Carlisle and Esme's house. We need to get there. Carlisle's calling Dr. Banner. Edward's trainer held him down so Carlisle could sedate him, but he's still extremely agitated. Bella, maybe I should go alone. He's asking for you, but I think it's going to be more of the same harsh language he spews. I don't think you should put yourself through any more. Hell, a big wind would blow you away, dear," he observed.

"No. I knew lying to him would backfire, but I went against my gut. I need to be there, even if he sends me away," I stated without room for compromise. I was sure it would be awful, but it was time for us to come clean.

##

I followed Peter to the Cullens house, all the while trying to run scenarios of how it could go when he saw me. Would it snap him out of his fog? Would he be so pissed we lied to him he'd just run away when he had the chance? Would he believe it was yet another pack of lies designed to keep him under his families' thumb? I couldn't even begin to imagine what the hell he was thinking.

I saw a lot of cars, including my father's cruiser, sitting in the Cullens' circle driveway. I veered into the grass and around the cars to park in the garage. I saw Felix standing there with Jasper, and I braced myself.

"What happened," I asked as Jasper opened my door and helped me out of the car. He immediately pulled me into a much-needed hug, and then he backed up, looking into my eyes.

"Bella, he's gone insane. His lawyer told him you'd legally changed your name to Cullen, and you two were married. He told him you're the conservator, and he can't do anything for Edward because you have control over everything. Edward's determined…" Jasper began, and then the gentle giant broke down.

Felix took my hand and held it. "Bella, Edward's basically in shock. This can be good, or this can be bad. He doesn't remember your life together, and when Esme tried to explain things to him, he became agitated and eventually violent. He struck her with a lamp. Carlisle is stitching her up now. Edward caught her on the temple, but it really was an accident. She's not injured badly, but that's when Carlisle gave him a sedative. He's fighting it, but I think he's going to say nasty things to you. I'd advise you not to go in there. Go home. I'll call you when it's safe to come back," Felix advised.

"Half-truths and deception is what got us into this position. I'll go face the music. He'll probably send me away, but I have to hope that maybe, just maybe, something will begin connecting the dots for him," I responded. I kissed Felix's cheek and went inside, seeing Esme and Carlisle in the kitchen. He was bandaging her head, and she was crying.

I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her neck from behind, trying not to interfere with Carlisle's work. "Esme, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" I asked quietly.

"Oh, honey, I'm fine. It wasn't a direct hit, thankfully. He wasn't trying to hit me; it was my dumb luck to step into the path of a Tiffany," she responded with a humorless laugh.

"Carlisle, what did you give him?" I asked.

"I gave him a low-dose of diazepam. Unfortunately, it could make him even more confused, but it was all I had here at the house. I'm sorry, Bella. He was so out of control I didn't know what to do. I walked in here and found my wife on the floor bleeding, and Edward was in the corner curled up in a ball. It was the first thought I had," Carlisle apologized.

"Carlisle, I'd guess none of us know what to do. He's an extremely intelligent man, and I should have anticipated he'd launch his own investigation into what's going on. He's never trusted me since he woke up, and I suppose he was the smartest of all of us," I remarked.

I kissed Esme on the top of her head and headed down the hallway, seeing my father pacing there, full uniform in place. The damage was extensive as I passed through the rooms, but the most disturbing thing was that the mild-mannered man I loved had hit his mother with a lamp and was found in the fetal position in a corner of the room. I'd hate myself forever.

I approached my dad, who held out his arms for me. I gladly allowed him to engulf me in a Charlie-hug. He didn't give them often, but when he did, they always calmed me. "Daddy, thanks for coming. You're not going to arrest him, are you?" I asked.

"Naw. I just came to make sure nothing happens to you, honey. I know you're going to go in there, and I'd advise against it. I believe the man made up new names to call you. Bells, you've been through so much. Don't go in there," Dad pleaded.

I sniffed, reaching up to dry my eyes. "Dad, you know how much I love him. I have to go in there and answer any questions he has. I know my appearance will spark all of the venom he has built up inside him, but he's said some pretty nasty things in the past so I'm sure I can handle it," I told him feigning confidence. I wasn't so confident.

He reached into his pocket and handed me a very questionable-looking handkerchief. I didn't look at it too closely; I simply blew my nose and wiped my eyes. "I'll wash it and get it back to you," I joked, seeing his mustache turn up in a smile.

"I'll be right here, Bells," he stated authoritatively. I nodded and kissed his cheek. I took a deep breath and opened the door, seeing Edward on the bed looking like he was on acid. Emmett was sitting in a chair in the corner looking at a car magazine, and Alice was sitting on the bed, trying to talk to Edward.

I saw Emmett look up as I closed the door, and I offered a weak smile. "Um, would you guys mind leaving us alone?" I asked. I needed to talk to him, and if he was somewhat sedated, maybe I could get out of there without experiencing bodily harm. I still believed in the depth of my soul he'd never lay a hand on me. I believed somewhere deep inside him he loved me, and I hoped maybe the mask had been ripped away to let _my_ Edward surface. It remained to be seen.

Alice hugged me as she left. I looked at Emmett, and he shook his head no. "Emmett, please?" I whispered.

"Bella, I'm sorry, but no. I'm not going to leave. I don't want either of you getting hurt. I'm reading a magazine anyway, so I won't pay attention," Emmett responded protectively.

"Jesus, you big asshole. Apparently, I'm _married_ to the devil incarnate, so I'm not going to hurt her. Divorce her lying, crazy ass? Guaranteed. Lay a finger on her? Not with a ten-foot pole," Edward responded. If that was him sedated, I couldn't begin to imagine what he'd have said prior to the sedative.

"Em, my dad's right outside. I'll be fine," I assured. He huffed and then strolled out, giving me the eye. I smiled at his protective nature as I sat in a chair next to the bed where Edward was lying. I had no idea how to start, but apparently, I didn't need to worry. He was all geared up, and he didn't disappoint.

After the door closed, I turned to him, seeing nothing but hatred on his beautiful face. All of the love he'd ever had for me was gone, and I had to finally accept it. "So, you know the truth," I stated.

"Truth? I seriously doubt what I've learned is the truth. I can't imagine, under any scenario, I would fall in love with the likes of you. I have to believe somehow you snowed my family into believing you and I were in love, and a wedding ceremony took place while I was in a coma. I'd guess a gold-digging whore wouldn't be above such tactics, and since my parents didn't want to take care of me, they agreed.

"I found out we didn't have a pre-nup, so I guess you're entitled to half of everything I own except my home. So, here's what I want. Get out of my house and leave a forwarding address so I know where to have the divorce papers sent. I'd have never, in a lifetime, fallen in love with anyone like you. I like blondes. It isn't lost on me you quit your job and took over my care so you didn't spend money for proper care either. Get out. I never want to lay eyes on you again," he stated calmly.

I was going to leave, but I had a few things to say before I did. I had to accept _my_ Edward was gone forever, and the new Edward…he was never going to care for me. I could break apart later, but I had to have my say one last time.

"Edward, I love…well, loved…you with every molecule in my body. I wasn't in the car that hit you as you believe, but I might as well have been. It was my fault you were in a hurry to get home. I had news for you, and after I gave it to you, I knew the old you would want to make love before we got on the road to go to my father's cabin for Christmas. We were going to Hawaii for a vacation between Christmas and your parents' New Year's party.

"We met Memorial Day weekend in the ER. My dad fell off a ladder and broke his arm. You were there that night and just happened to take care of my dad. You asked me out that same night, and I accepted. Yes, maybe I was a whore for having sex with you on our first date, but you were so perfect for me I couldn't turn you down.

"We married in August. Next week is our one-year anniversary, as a matter of fact. I'll return the engagement ring you gave me, and you can have our wedding bands. I'm sorry if you believe I took advantage of you, and for the record, I wish I was as dead as Tanya Denali.

"In one sense I am, because after your accident, I didn't just lose my husband. I lost a baby we would have both loved very much. I'm sorry I failed you so miserably. I want nothing from you, and I'll make sure my attorney has a mailing address for you to send the papers to divorce me.

"I hope, somehow, you find happiness. We had it once, but it was much too fleeting. I was so afraid if we told you the truth, you'd feel panicked at finding out you were married to someone you didn't know and you'd find it overwhelming to try to manufacture feelings for a wife you didn't remember. I hoped and prayed you'd remember me and our life, which was why I stuck with the lies. I'm sorry I made the wrong choice. I wish you the very best life you can have," I stated flatly as the last little bit of love inside me sealed itself inside a box within my heart, never to surface again.

I rose from the chair and left the room. I didn't see anyone else, and I didn't stop until I got outside. I saw Jasper and Alice pacing the porch, and I didn't hesitate to ask for a ride home. Jasper obliged, and once he dropped me off, he hugged me tightly.

"Bella, we love you so much. Please don't shut us out. We'll take care of him, but we don't want to lose you," he pleaded as we stood on the sidewalk outside our building.

"Jazz, you're married to Alice. The Cullens are your family. I'm glad I had the opportunity to borrow them for a while. I left the car in the garage at the Cullens, and I'll leave my keys with the front desk after I pack up. I'll be out tomorrow. Please tell everyone I love them. I'll be fine," I responded without emotion.

I walked into the building without looking back, and that night, when I slept in the spare room for the last time, I actually fell asleep without the wonderful dreams I'd enjoyed as I was trying to love my fractured husband back to health. I had no dreams any longer. They were all crushed, and I had to adjust. It wouldn't be easy, but it was what I'd always expected. The other shoe had finally dropped.

\\\

_**I'll, um, just be over there. Don't hit me in the face, okay? It's about all I have left…**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Just to be clear…I rarely fall to pressure, but I know how hard this is to get through, so I'm giving you another chapter tonight. I don't want you to freeze me out : ) Thank you for your reviews, by the way. I'm so flattered you're interested in this story, and I find myself overwhelmed at your responses.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I do not.**_

_**\\\**_

6.

_Christmastime, Three Months Later_

"Chelsea, we've got the Lambert House and the Met under contract. Can we do both?" I asked my assistant as I stood at her desk.

"We've got it, Izzy, I swear. Your father called again, and a woman named Alice Whitlock called. She asked for Bella Cullen. I told her there was no Bella Cullen here. She left a number." Chelsea offered me a piece of paper, which I took and crumpled up.

Edward and I weren't officially divorced, but I'd turned over the conservatorship to Carlisle when I left Washington. I landed in New York where my friend from design school, Aro Volturri, had a studio. I asked him for a job, and he asked me no questions. He and his wife had been good to me. They knew there was more to my story, but they never asked, and I never offered.

I'd made a (new) name for myself in the short time I'd been in New York…figuratively and literally. Izzy Madison was my new moniker. It was ridiculous that a change of name allowed me to function like a normal person, but it was New York, and no one questioned anyone's personae.

"I'll call my dad. There's no Bella Cullen anywhere near here, right?" I posed.

"I've never heard of Bella Cullen," Chelsea lied. She'd made copies of my driver's license and social security card when I started with AV Designs, both of which read Isabella Cullen, so she knew better, but she was loyal, and that's what I needed.

"Oh, hey, are you coming on Christmas Eve? Aro and Renata want a head count. Will you have a plus one?" she teased.

"I'll be there, but I won't be with a plus one. You know I don't date," I reminded as I grabbed my mail and walked up the stairs of our studio to my office. She'd surreptitiously tried to fix me up with her cousin at Thanksgiving, and while he was handsome and seemed to be a very nice guy, he wasn't ever going to be anything more than a friend. I explained to her I wasn't relationship material, but she'd promised she wouldn't give up. I wished her the best of luck.

I sorted through the mail, seeing invitations to holiday parties I put in the 'no' pile. I found a few sale brochures I might peruse when I got home that night, so I put them in the 'save' pile, and then I found a thick FedEx envelope addressed to me…Bella Cullen. I ripped it open and found another envelope inside with "Bugsy" on the front.

I froze. Only one person called me that name. Why he didn't go through Peter was a mystery, but he had sent the FedEx himself. As I looked around the sample Christmas ornaments in my office, I remembered when we went shopping for ornaments and our only tree together before the accident.

"_Are we going to put up a real tree or that fake crap?" Edward asked as we stood in the Macy's in Seattle the weekend before Christmas. We'd spent the weekend at The Fairmont as our gift to each other, plus, we planned to finish up our Christmas shopping. It had been a lovely time._

"_Elmer, it's up to you," I responded as I looked at some Christopher Radko ornaments. They were so cute, I couldn't resist. Based on his question, I assumed we were getting a real tree, so I picked out the lightest ones I could find, remembering Christmas' with Charlie wherein our little pine trees couldn't hold the weight of heavy ornaments._

"_So, real it is. Now, Bugsy, you sexy little vixen, what's your stand on garland versus tinsel?" he asked. I remember laughing and hauling him back behind a fake Blue Spruce so I could kiss the hell out of him. Kissing led to the handsome doctor's hand up my skirt and my hand down his trousers, both of us finding our happy ending with a tree full of Santa's looking on._

After a bath and two glasses of scotch when I got home that night, I opened the envelope. It was filled with what appeared to be a legal document with a note paper clipped to the top. I pulled the mess out, and poured another glass of scotch. Scotch reminded me of Edward, and if I was going to deal with being officially dumped, I was going to wallow for just another moment in the happy life I would never have.

I remembered being in Vancouver for our three-day honeymoon. We'd only gone out of the room once, opting for room service and lots of sweaty sex.

"_I'm not going out there. You're out of your mind. We leave the room to give the maid a chance to change the bed and give us fresh towels, and you bring me here?" I complained. We were at the Capilano Suspension Bridge over the Capilano River, and it was really fucking high. I looked down and felt my stomach drop to my feet._

"_You are going out there, my darling bride. It's only seventy feet over the river," he pushed._

_I looked down again. "That's a hell of a lot higher than seventy feet, Elmer. I'd guess, since we're in Canada, its seventy meters," I corrected._

"_Ah, meters…feet…It'll be a great picture. Now, Mrs. Cullen, scoot. I'm right here behind you just as I always will be. I got your back, Jack," he joked as he kissed my neck, having moved my hair to the side. _

_I walked out to the middle of that damn bridge and held onto him for dear life as someone took our picture. The smiles we wore couldn't be misconstrued by anyone. We were in love, and we were on our honeymoon, however short it happened to be._

That photo was in the album I'd left on our bed in the penthouse when I packed my clothes to leave. I had no idea if he ever looked through it, but I wished I'd taken it. The mental pictures didn't do justice to the photographic evidence of how happy we were. Or, maybe, I made it out to be more than it was. Maybe the Edward Cullen, MD, I fell in love with was the mask, and the bitter man I tried to nurse back to health was the real Edward Cullen? I hoped that wasn't the truth because it would shatter the fragments of my heart into even smaller pieces.

I picked up the note from the front of the divorce papers and read it. I wasn't really surprised.

_Bella,_

_It's been a while. If you want the divorce I'm sure you'd love to have, you need to come back here and fill in some gaps for me. I've got some things back, but not everything. I need you to help me out…if you _want_ out._

_Meet me at home on Christmas Eve, six o'clock. Don't call to cancel because I won't answer, and you can't get out without meeting me face-to-face._

_Edward_

I read it four times, and I contemplated calling everyone in the family, but I gave up the idea because this was between Edward and me. There was no use dragging anyone else into it. We'd all lived through hell, and it was time to put a cap on it. I'd deal with him alone, just as I had in those dark days, and I'd keep the family out of it as much as possible.

##

When the plane landed at Sea-Tac, I was truly happy to be near my hometown. I still had a four-hour journey, but it would give me time to get my head together as I made the drive alone, or so I thought until I saw the guy standing with a sign that was printed with "Bugsy" in screwy letters.

"Hi, I'm uh…" I stammered a bit, not feeling as confident at Sea-Tac as I did in Manhattan.

"Bella Cullen?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

"This way," he instructed as he led me to baggage claim. I pointed out my suitcase, and we were on our way.

Before we left the airport, he handed me a jewel case with a post-it note that read "What's this?" "Mrs. Cullen, I was instructed to give this to you." I popped the CD in the portable player on the seat next to me, and when I saw my face on the screen, I was floored.

"_Okay, Bugsy this is one for the history books and our future children. What are you doing?" he asked. I had flour all over my face, and my hands were caked with pie dough. I was truly a mess._

"_Well, your grandmother, my future offspring, has ordered…quite harshly since I denied her a big wedding when your daddy and I ran off to the courthouse and got married at his insistence…I am to bake the Thanksgiving pies. I'm trying to make pie crusts in advance, which I've never done in my life. Edward Anthony, if you don't get that camera out of my face, you won't have children to show this video," I threatened._

I laughed when I saw how playful and full of love our marriage was at the time. My heart ached. We could have been so good together.

"_Come on, sweetheart. You know you love me, and what we just did in the bedroom is pretty much insurance I'll have children," Edward commented._

_Then, he turned the camera to himself. "Kids, I just did your mom, and she loved it," he whispered. I slapped him on the chest which ended up in a tickle fight in our kitchen._

We made love on the kitchen floor that morning amidst the flour and my gooey hands. It was exactly the way first holidays should be spent when a couple was first married.

I wiped my eyes because the tears were too much. I popped the DVD out of the player and tossed it back into the front seat with the driver. I thought Edward could only hurt me with his words. Apparently, I'd underestimated him. Reminding me of our happy life while I was trapped in a car on the way to sign the divorce papers…he might as well have coated the car with anthrax.

##

I walked into the lobby of the very familiar building, seeing it decorated for Christmas just as it was a year prior when I'd ran out of there like I was being chased having just been told about Edward's accident. The one thing I didn't expect to see was Jacob standing behind the desk with a huge smile on his face.

"Mrs. C! It's so good to see you," Jacob greeted with the dashing smile I remembered from the nights I'd entered the lobby so broken I didn't know if I could make it to our home. Jacob's bright smile always gave me a little pick-me-up.

"Hello, Jacob. It's so good to see you. How're Nessa and Carlie?" I asked. Just then that little streak of happiness ran out from behind the desk and hugged me around the waist. She was as beautiful as the first time I laid eyes on her.

"Hello, sweetie. How are you?" I asked. She tugged on my sweater dress, so I stooped down to meet her at eye level.

"I saw Dr. Edward tonight. He had kisses for me," she informed. I looked up at Jacob who smiled.

"Dr. C looks good. He was complaining his hair doesn't part the same, which gave me a good laugh. He told me to give you this when you came in," Jacob offered as he handed me a key to the elevator so I could go to the penthouse.

I caressed it between my fingers as if it was a precious jewel. I stood up and looked at Jacob likely for the last time. "It's been such a pleasure to get to know you and your family. I wish your family health and happiness in the New Year," I whispered as I kissed his cheek. I leaned down and kissed Vanessa on her cheek as I hurried to the elevator, seeing I was going to be late.

The _second_ Edward hated tardiness, and since I didn't know how much he'd changed, I didn't want us starting off on a bad foot. I shoved my key in the lock and hit the 'P' button. Once the elevator jarred to move, I took a deep breath.

"Okay, Bella, don't get your hopes up. You're here to sign divorce papers. The letter was barely congenial, so don't think it's anything more. You've got a life in New York…you've got a life in New York…" I chanted to myself until I reached the top floor.

I pulled the key and stepped off, walking to what used to be my front door. Instead of using the key to let myself in, I rang the buzzer because I couldn't believe he'd changed _that_ much.

I heard movement behind the door, and I held my breath. It wasn't like I knew what the hell was going to happen, but I wasn't about to get my hopes up, only to be broken yet again.

\\\

_**So, she did what she had to do to save herself, of which **_**I**_** applaud her. She's a strong woman, but there comes a point in time where you have to save yourself, right?**_

_**Well, what do you think she'll find when she opens that door? (Sorry for the cliffie…) **_

_**I just read the greatest story... "Departures" by TheFicChick. I'm late to the party on it, but if you haven't checked it out, go. A man in uniform…snowed in at Chicago O'Hare Airport after the holidays…delayed flights…who knew? It's complete and it's wonderful. (I'm trying to make up for leaving you at this point in the story.)**_

_**Thanks for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Where I live in the world, it's Thursday, so I'm posting. Thank you all for your reviews and your questions, and when I can offer clarification, I try, but I don't want to give away too much, so if I didn't get back to you (besides the fact I suck at responding at reviews), it's because the answers are coming soon. **_

_**I will offer this…the name Bella adopted in NY…Izzy Madison…holds no significance at all, it's just a name. **_

_**Southern Heifer pre-read this one for me, and for that, I'm quite grateful. Thank you SoHe.**_

_**I don't own the characters. I simply play the fiddle while they dance…**_

_**So, shall we see what was on the other side of the door?**_

_**\\\**_

7.

"Isabella, I'm glad you agreed to come. I ordered food from '_Bella Italia_'. I, um, I wasn't able to come up with anything to cook because I'm still trying to…Oh, please come in," Edward greeted sweetly.

He looked well. There was no limp evident at all, and his hair was the sexy mess it had been the first time I'd seen him. He seemed nervous, but that might have been me. I was scared to death, and I really didn't know what to say.

I stepped into _our_ home, seeing it looked the same, yet completely different. "May I take your coat?" he asked meekly.

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen," I responded out of habit. I slipped it off my shoulders and straightened my dress before placing my purse on the same table I'd always placed it. The only thing lacking was the rattle of my keys in the bowl. I saw his resting inside, and I smiled.

"Please, Bella, after all of this, call me Edward," he instructed quietly. I nodded in agreement and tossed my hair over my shoulder, following him into our kitchen where so many happy memories had been made.

"Would you like a glass of wine?" he asked. I noticed he had a clear drink, and as much as I wanted to point out that if he was still taking anti-seizure medication he shouldn't be drinking, it dawned on me it was no longer my place.

"Please. That would be nice," I responded as I settled on the barstool at the counter where I used to sit on Sunday mornings in his shirt and watch him dance around the kitchen in his boxers cooking us breakfast while we listened to music. It was his day off, and we always slept late…or actually stayed in bed until early afternoon. We didn't _sleep_ late, that was for damn sure.

He poured me a glass of Pinot Grigio, and corked the bottle. "You look well," he commented.

I didn't. He was just being kind, and I was wearing a pound of makeup to hide the circles under my eyes. At least he'd rejoined the human race wherein niceties were expected. I'd lost even more weight since I'd been in New York, but there, it was considered desirable to be the size of a pencil. Not one thing about me felt desirable.

"Thank you. You look very well. How are you? Are you seeing anyone?" I asked anxiously. I truly wanted to know. I only wanted him happy. Why I asked about him seeing anyone was a miscue, though. I didn't want his answer at all.

He chuckled a very "before" chuckle. I looked up from assessing my tights and saw the sexy smirk I fell in love with on his handsome face. The only difference was a small scar above his eyebrow, but he was and would remain the most handsome man in the world as far as I was concerned.

"That's kind of odd to ask so quickly, isn't it?" he asked smugly. That was the voice of the Edward I didn't love.

"I don't think so. I always hoped you'd find happiness, and the last time we spoke, if you could call it that, you reassured me you were attracted to blondes, so I hope maybe a buxom blonde has put that smug smile on your face. We don't have to eat, you know. It's Christmas Eve, and I'm sure your lady friend would rather see you sooner than later. I'll sign the papers. The settlement is beyond fair. I never wanted your money, you know. I have a good job, and your mother bought me out after I moved to New York," I offered.

"There's no buxom blonde, and you should know better than to listen to a crazy man whacked out on sedatives. Blondes were never my preference, and you know that," he commented as he took a sip from his drink. I picked up mine and mirrored his action.

I remembered a discussion we'd had when we were on our second date at the pizza place and the waitress, a bottle blonde, had pushed her more-than-ample chest in his face as she delivered the pizza.

"_Hey, I can get a ride home with Alice and Jasper if you wanna hit that. It appears the woman is more than willing," I sniped, giving Alice and Jasper a good laugh._

_Edward turned to me and leaned forward, kissing me in the middle of my chest. "I don't like blondes. I like smart-mouthed brunettes, especially when they're jealous." I flipped him off, and we all laughed about it. _

"Well, that begs the question, now doesn't it? What do you remember?" I asked the sixty-million-gillion dollar question.

"Not as much as I hoped, but when Carlisle and Esme allowed me to move out of their house and I came back here, I spent some time perusing the book shelves. I've got some questions. Oh, and I found a photo album on our bed that brings more questions with it," he explained.

"Ask away," I offered. He took my hand, sending a thrill up my spine I immediately tamped down. I followed him into the living room, seeing a pine tree with lights and no decorations in the corner. The boxes were there, and the stork ornament was on the coffee table along with a lot of notes and loose photos of us. I immediately slipped off my shoes because it was going to be a long night.

I sat on the couch where we'd made love more than once, and tried to block those visions out of my head. I couldn't keep my mouth shut, though. "This picture was taken right after you proposed to me," I spouted as I pointed to the framed five-by-seven on the end table.

He kicked off his loafers and sat down to face me, placing his drink on the table. "I have flashes of it. What happened?" he asked.

"Well, we'd been living together for a few months, and you happened to come into the place where I worked early one afternoon. The guy I worked with was a pest of the first degree, and he kept asking me out even though I told him I had a boyfriend. You saw him flirting, and you informed my _boss_ there was an emergency for which I needed to leave, so he agreed immediately.

"You drove us the four hours to the Space Needle and dragged me into the damn thing. After we got to the observation deck, you pulled me into a quiet corner…" I explained.

"And I told you I took you as close to heaven as I could because if one was going to propose to an angel, it should be near their home? God, I was fucking cheesy," he scoffed.

"You say cheesy…I say the most romantic man I've ever met in my life. You got down on one knee and proposed. You'd gone to the station at three o'clock in the morning when you finished at the hospital earlier that same day. You asked my dad for his blessing and permission, and he told you if you didn't get out of his goddamn office, I'd be a widow before I ever got married. We got married three days later because you didn't want to wait," I further explained.

"Damn, I was either the lamest bastard on the planet or I had more game than anyone in town," he joked.

"You were somewhere in between, but I loved it," I commented with a laugh.

"What's this about?" he asked as he handed me the stack of notes. I read through them and smiled. They really were the essence of our relationship, and it was a testament of how well we knew each other, even in such a short period of time.

"Ah, we took to leaving notes in our favorite books. For instance, this one you probably found in your old copy of "Catcher in the Rye." That's your favorite book. You related to Holden more than any other literary character because he had a hard time finding his place in the world, and you seemed to agree with him, you told me once. You said it was when you were trying to decide whether to go to medical school or pursue something else you finally understood Holden. '_Elmer, come talk to me. Tell me what's got you down.' _That was my way of letting you know if you were reading Salinger, I knew something was wrong," I explained. I leafed through some of the other notes and found one in his handwriting to me.

"This one is one you'd have found in one of my smutty novels. '_Bugsy, if you're horny, come wake me up. You know I aim to please. I'm never too tired for you, baby.'_ That was the way we supported each other. We knew when to give each other space, but there was always a note of support. If you only found this many, you didn't go through all the books," I teased, remembering pictures and even notes written in the text of some of the books. We were both avid readers, and those books bore witness to the strength of our commitment.

"This would make a great movie," he commented. He didn't know how fucking right he was.

"So, what else?" I asked.

"What's this?" he asked as he handed me the box with the ornament I was set to give him the night of his accident.

"This…this is," I began before I started sobbing. It was as beautiful as I remembered it, and I remembered when I lost the baby. It was so fucking god awful I wanted to die.

As the tears rolled down my face, I braced myself for feeling the hurt again. "This is the gift I had to give you before we went to the cabin for Christmas with my dad. See, we'd decided to start a family, and I'd found out I was pregnant the day before Christmas Eve. I went to the doctor and…wait," I responded as I pulled the photo album from the table and flipped it to the back where the ultrasound of our baby was glued to a blank page.

"This was our baby. I had this ornament made to give you to tell you. I was so excited because I knew you'd go nuts over it. I lost the baby on December 26th. We were supposed to be in Hawaii, but instead, I was standing in a hospital room wondering if the love of my life was going to survive. I started cramping and when I went to the bathroom, I was bleeding. Your mom and dad were with you, and the doctors were keeping you in a coma, so I slipped off, found my gynecologist, and she told me I'd lost our baby. I'm so sorry. I'm so…" I began sobbing, feeling the pain again.

His arms around me were more than welcome. I felt his tears on my neck as he held me, and we finally mourned the loss of our baby together. I'd mourned it a lot, but no one else knew it because I thought it was too much to share at the time, so I'd carried it alone. It actually felt good, as bad as that sounds, to share it with my husband…my baby's father.

He handed me a handkerchief to dry my eyes, and when I looked at it, I actually laughed with the tears still streaming. It had an embroidered likeness of Elmer Fudd on it. There were three in existence, as far as I knew. I'd done them when he was on call at the hospital, and I'd given them to him as a Halloween treat.

"God, I haven't seen this in a long time," I commented as I wiped my eyes.

"I found it in my drawer when I was packing up my things at Mom and Dad's. It looked handmade, so I was sure it meant something to me. I kept it. Where'd it come from?" he asked.

"After I met you, we had this little shtick. I'd greet you with a "What's up Doc?" and you'd respond with a "You waskaly wabbit." After that, you started calling me Bugsy, and I called you Elmer. I embroidered these when you were at the hospital, and I couldn't sleep. I gave them to you at Halloween," I explained, seeing how horrible they actually were. I was never good with needlework.

"Okay, is this real or a dream? I remember, or I think I do, one night I was at the hospital because I'd been in surgery for hours. I remember being so damn tired, but I stayed at the hospital in case there were complications. It was a holiday of some sort. You showed up with a bunch of food, and after I ate, we slept together in the on-call room. I remember pumpkin pie," he outlined.

My heart flew. It was amazing he was remembering things, and maybe there was hope. Maybe he wouldn't want _me_, but if he had his memories back, maybe he could be happy. That was all I wanted for him, after all.

"Our first Thanksgiving. I had to make the pies because your mom was still pissed we got married at the courthouse, so she gave me recipes and told me I had to make the pies. That video you gave the driver was from a few days before the holiday. I was trying to figure out how to do the pie crusts because I'd never made a pie in my life.

"Anyway, we were at your parents' house, and I was helping your mother and Katie cook while you guys…you, Jasper, Carlisle, and my dad, were in the living room watching football. Alice was watching us with a magazine at the counter, of course.

"You got called in for an emergency. There was a bad accident, and it was a fourteen-year-old boy from the reservation who had suffered a horrible chest injury. I think Jacob knows him. Anyway, you went to the hospital and took care of him, missing dinner. I made you a huge plate and brought it to you.

"You were in the lounge when I showed up. I heated your dinner, and we talked, and then you begged me to stay until you had to get up to check on your patient. I did. It wasn't the only time I brought you dinner to the hospital. It was, however, the first time you made love to me in the on-call room," I remembered. It was really fucking great because anyone could have walked in. He needed to let off steam, and I needed him. It was a memory I loved.

"How about…" he began as he asked about the snippets that had come to him over the months we'd been apart. I explained every one of them to the best of my ability, and after we'd exhausted his sparse memories, we actually decorated his tree.

He asked me about the ornaments, and I explained why we'd chosen them, and after the tinsel was strewn over the tree, it was time for me to go to my hotel.

Dad didn't know I was coming to town, nor did anyone other than Edward, so I booked a hotel. "Here," I commented as I pulled the papers from my bag and signed the appropriate black lines where my name was typed in Helvetica Bold beneath. After I finished, I handed them to him.

"I'm so happy for you. I'm happy you're finding your way back. The bitter man I tried to nurse back to health wasn't you. This is you…or very close to you. You're a wonderful man, Edward Cullen, and don't you ever let anyone tell you any differently," I instructed as I stood by the door and smiled up at him.

"How long are you in town?" he asked as he helped me on with my coat.

"Well, I'm here, so I might surprise my dad and Katie tomorrow. I'll probably leave on Thursday. I sort of left my boss in a lurch, so I need to get back because I've got a huge New Year's Eve party to organize at The Plaza. Thank you, Edward, for giving me this closure. You have no idea what that means to me," I confessed honestly.

"I'll get these filed with the court as soon as possible. Thank you for coming, Bella. It means a lot to me that you'd give me this, especially after all the hell I gave you. Yes, I remember every nasty word I said to you, and I know why you didn't tell me the truth, but I wish you had. I never understood why you'd take it. I tested you a lot of the time, you know. I honestly thought when you told me you'd lost a baby we made together the night you left, it was your way of trying to hurt me the way I'd hurt you. I guess, it's bittersweet to know it wasn't a lie," he enlightened.

"Just so you know I loved you too much to let you go through your recovery alone, regardless of how you treated me. Please, take care of yourself," I implored. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine reminding me of many kisses we'd shared.

I pulled back with tears in my eyes, but I had a smile on my face. He was well and appeared to be happy. That was all I ever wanted for him, so I let go. I climbed onto the elevator for the last time, and when I reached the lobby, I actually felt like maybe, just maybe, I could be whole again as well with time. Only time would tell the tale.

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_**So? Just so you understand…this isn't the end. I appreciate you taking the time to read my story, so thank you.**_

_**Till next time (Friday)…xoxo**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Thank you to my loyal supporters for your reviews and support. You're all so great to me and lull me into a false sense of security so that when the anonymous 'Mean Girls' come after me, it throws me for a loop. The only response I have, because I can't respond to their reviews, is if you don't like it... pick another story. (Hops off soapbox)**_

_**Southern Heifer pre-read this for me. (She might not admit it, though.) Thank you dear one. PM me because it turned out a bit different than the draft I sent you.**_

_**SMeyer owns this story and clearly has a thicker skin than me. I would never infringe on her work.**_

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8.

_A Year and a Few Months Later_

There's a lot to be said for familiar surroundings and getting your bearings again. After my visit with Edward at Christmas, I had to accept a few truths I didn't want to admit. We…me and the Cullen collective…hadn't done Edward any favors by not explaining the year he was missing. I had to admit my arrogance cost me my marriage. I lulled myself into the mistaken complacency that he fell in love with me once, and he'd do it again without any prompting from us. Unfortunately, he didn't.

When I walked out of our penthouse that night, I knew in my heart I should have been more proactive regarding his recovery, but I'd listened to Felix who had said it was better for him if we allowed him to remember things as they came. With time, we could fill in the blanks when he had questions, but when he asked questions, we weren't quick enough with our answers. That mistake rested firmly on my shoulders because the whole family waited for my direction. Maybe I was too broken to think clearly, but I didn't step up to the plate as I should. I'd always regret my decisions.

It would be a regret I'd carry for the rest of my life, but maybe it wasn't meant for us to be together. We'd fallen so hard and so fast, but maybe it simply wasn't meant to last? Maybe I should see a therapist myself because I know for the rest of my life, I'll pick at the mistakes like a child would pick at brussel sprouts the first time they were introduced. I finally came to the realization I needed to make some drastic changes in my life for my own sake.

Initially, I loved living in New York, but it soon became stale and superficial to me. Everyone with whom I dealt was so fake and dishonest with their motives. I took it for four months after my divorce was final, and I had enough. I kissed Aro, Renata, and Chelsea good-bye, and I moved back home…almost.

I couldn't return to Forks, so I moved to Port Angeles and went to work in…a fabric store. Edward had been more than generous in the settlement, so I didn't have money troubles, but PA wasn't a hotbed of design activity, so I taught a few craft and design classes at a local fabric store.

I taught simple upholstery to stay-at-home moms who wanted to re-cover the rocking chairs they'd rocked their babies in so as to move them into the living rooms. I taught flower arranging, and I taught various painting techniques when my store manager listened to me and allowed me to begin offering design classes.

I enjoyed my life for the most part, and my dog, Elmer, was my best friend. He was a schnauzer mix I'd rescued from the pound the day before he was slated for….well it wasn't going to be a happy ending for him, to which I could relate, so I didn't hesitate to bring him home with me. I found him to be a devoted mutt, and he didn't judge me when I'd talk to him about my life. We ran the Olympic Discovery Trails and played fetch at Shane Park. We had to drive from where we lived, but it was a great way to spend a day off.

I couldn't lie and say I didn't think of Edward every day. I wondered what he was doing…how he was doing. I wondered if he'd met his "one" because clearly, I wasn't it, but I always looked back on our time _before_ with a smile on my face. I'd had my great love, and it had been everything I ever thought it would be. I could live happily with those memories. I'd never love again, but that was fine. If you only get one love, it should be fucking amazing, and it was.

One Saturday, Elmer and I were at the dog park, and he got into a fight with a more aggressive dog over a stupid damn tennis ball. I couldn't separate them without two other people's assistance, and once the damage was done, I was a crying mess as I took my bleeding dog to PAWs Animal Hospital. It was closest, and he looked like he was in pain.

"I don't have an appointment, but my dog was attacked today at the park. Can you help him?" I begged the lady at the desk.

She saw him in my arms in a bloody towel while tears streamed down my face, and she showed me into a room immediately. She put a call into the vet because they were only open for pick-ups that day, and when the vet showed up, she gave me a small smile. "Mrs. Cullen, we'll help him all we can. Take a seat outside," she instructed. Yes, I'd kept the Cullen name because it gave me a tether to a life I loved and never got to live. _Sue me._

I sat down in the waiting room and leafed through a five year-old "Reader's Digest," waiting for any word on the new love of my life. I couldn't help the tears. The second male I ever fell in love with was in surgery, and it was all too familiar. If Elmer didn't make it, I wasn't sure if I would.

I heard the bell ring as someone walked into the clinic, but I was too embarrassed to look up because I was sure I was an awful mess. I continued leafing through the little magazine seeing a recipe for pie crust that looked much simpler than the one I'd been given by Esme years prior, so I began to tear it out, certain that if no one had bothered in five years, they wouldn't give a damn about it that day.

"I'm here to pick up Bugsy. Is she ready? I'm sorry, but my class ran over," I heard a man at the counter ask. There was no mistaking the voice. I looked up to see that magnificent ass, and I couldn't help myself.

I rose from my seat and walked up to stand behind him. "What's up Doc?" I asked quietly. He wheeled around and the smile was just as I remembered. It was _my_ Edward, though he wasn't mine any longer.

"Bella, God, you look great. What are you doing here?" he asked as he hugged me tightly.

I pulled away too soon, but I was trying to do what was appropriate when one runs into their ex. "The only _other_ male I ever fell in love with got into a dog fight…literally. He's in surgery. What are you doing here?" I asked nervously. He looked incredible…as if nothing had ever happened. I only wished that was the case.

Just then, a beautiful chocolate lab puppy was carried out by one of the attendants. "Here's your daddy," the guy called as he kissed her on the top of her head. He handed her over the counter and Edward held her gently. I was surprised because for a moment, I flashed back to how he would have looked holding our baby. It was yet another stab to my broken heart.

"Oh, how are you, baby girl? I'm sorry, but I don't want you gifting me with a litter. I know it was harsh, but I'll make it up to you," he whispered to the puppy as it wiggled in his arms.

I placed my hand on her head, and scratched her a bit. "Hello, sweetheart. You're beautiful," I cooed over the puppy as if it was a human child.

"I'm being rude. Bella, this is…um…awkward, but this is Bugsy. Bugs, this is Bella," he introduced. I smirked at him and kissed him on the cheek. If he named his dog after me, I hoped it meant he knew how much those names meant to us, even if he didn't love me any longer.

Just then, Doctor Hammersmith walked out into the waiting room. "Mrs. Cullen?" she called.

I hurried over to her to learn if I was going to kill myself in booze and pills that night. "Elmer's still out. I'd like to keep him for a few days. He had a tear to his…" she began, describing his injuries which reminded me too much of another hospital and another accident and another doctor telling me things I didn't want to hear and barely understood.

"No…no…nonono," I chanted as I hit the floor on my knees with my hands over my ears. I couldn't stop the sobbing because it was out of my control. It was all too familiar, and I couldn't handle it. It was just too fucking much.

"Can you hold her for a minute?" I heard behind me. Then, I felt two familiar arms lifting me from the floor and picking me up.

"You have her number, right? Can she leave her car here?" he asked.

"We have her number, and yes, she can, but her dog's…," someone answered as I sobbed into his all-to-familiar chest.

"Follow me, kid," he called as he carried me outside to his Volvo SUV. He placed me into the passenger side, and placed his Bugsy on my lap.

I didn't ask where we were going, and I didn't care. For all I cared, he could have dumped me in the Sol River. Flashbacks were a mother fucker.

##

I woke to the sounds of Al Green. It had been a long time since I'd heard the song. I couldn't listen to the song without crying on a good day, but I was cried out. It was finishing up, and I was happy. The next sounds I heard were a surprise as I lay on the couch listening. Edward was apparently in the kitchen because pots were rattling, and I heard him singing along. It reminded me too much of our life before.

It was funny that I divided my life as a before and after. I supposed if Elmer didn't make it, I'd have a before and after, and another after. _How many after's would I have to survive?_

"Bugsy, come eat," I heard Edward call. The dog got up from a fluffy bed in the corner and slowly made her way into the kitchen. I heard the laugh I loved. "Oh, this could get complicated. Okay, girl, I'll get you dinner as well," he commented. I could hear the smile on his face as he spoke, and I needed to see it because it had been too damn long since I'd seen his smile, and I wanted to get as many of them as I could before I didn't see them again because I had no idea why he was in Port Angeles in the first place.

I walked into the kitchen and watched him fill the dog's dish. "There you go, sweetie. I know you hate me right now, but it'll be better soon. We all get better eventually," he whispered as he brushed the dog on her head and scratched her behind the ears, her tail going a mile a minute.

"Do we?" I asked weakly from the kitchen door. It was a question I needed an answer to because I just didn't see it.

He walked over to where I stood and placed his hands on both sides of my face, smiling at me like he'd found a lost toy. "Yes, my pretty girl. We all get better eventually," he whispered as he kissed away the tears that tumbled down my face without my permission.

"How? I've tried, Elmer, and I can't seem to figure it out," I whispered.

"Oh, my Bella, I'll take care of you. You took care of me, and you brought me back from hell. It's my turn," he told me as he held me. I didn't ask any more questions that night. I let him hold me, and I didn't go home.

As I was about to fall asleep in his arms, I heard him whispering behind me. "My Bella, I'm so sorry. I know it's creepy I tracked you down and moved here, but I had to hope and pray I'd run into you. All your dad would tell me was that you'd moved here, so I moved here.

"I was a fucking coward for not just hunting you down and knocking on your door, but after I let you go the first time, I knew in my heart it would take time. I've worked hard to try to be worthy of you. I only hope I am." I didn't acknowledge what he'd said because apparently, they were truths he could only tell me when he thought I wasn't awake. I knew the feeling too well, so I decided to allow him to keep his secrets, all the while, hoping he'd get to the place when he could tell me when my eyes were opened. I prayed it would happen eventually.

We fell asleep on his couch with his dog, the poor sterile Bugsy, asleep on the floor beside us. Feeling his arms around me provided me with the first full night's sleep I'd had since December 23, 2010. It was incredible.

##

Elmer, the dog, was out of the hospital and recovering quite well at home, for which I was happy. When I had to work nights, Elmer, my friend and ex-husband, would come over and walk him. The canine Elmer and Bugsy had developed a friendship, much like their owners. We were going to have to drop the nicknames because it was quite confusing when we were all together on weekends.

One thing I loved was that we talked all the time. Edward was teaching anatomy at Peninsula College, and he enjoyed it. He'd told me a funny story about thinning out his class by taking them to the morgue to watch an autopsy from the observation area. He said the next day he only had half a class. We both laughed.

He'd been having regular physicals and tests and was finally given a clean bill of health by Dr. Gerandy. All of his neurological tests came back great, and because he'd only had two seizures…both right after the accident…he was able to stop taking the anti-seizure meds, about which he was quite pleased. He'd gotten his driver's license back and had received word that if he wanted to practice general medicine, he would be able to get his medical license back.

When I asked him if he wanted to return to practicing, he stated, "I like what I'm doing now. I consult with a few of my former colleagues, and instead of holding someone's life in my hands, I'm shaping young minds. Much less stressful…well, if you don't take into consideration that I'm dealing with young people who would rather be sitting in a bar looking to hook-up for the night instead of learning how many bones there are in the human hand." That answer surprised me, but based on the look on his face, I could tell he was happy with the direction of his life.

We'd been spending time together when we didn't have to work, but we hadn't talked about what _we_ were or where _we_ were going. We hadn't spent the night at each other's homes again since the night in April after Elmer's surgery, but we had dinner and watched movies just like we used to…only without the touching and kissing and sex.

"El, time for a treat." He ambled into the kitchen, still moving a bit slowly, but moving nonetheless. I wrapped a half-slice of bacon from breakfast around a heartworm pill, and he took it without hesitation, causing me to laugh. As I was washing my hands, the doorbell to my little house rang. I wasn't expecting anyone, so I contemplated not answering until I saw El dash to the door and start barking. The scratching on the other side gave me a good indication of who it was at my door.

I opened it, seeing Edward standing with Bugsy's leash in one hand and a bag from a Chinese restaurant we found out we both liked. "I thought you were busy this evening. As I recall you have a date with a brunette you met when you were at the hospital," I reminded as I stepped aside to allow entrance. He reached down and unclasped Bugsy's leash, and she and El took off for the living room.

When he mentioned over the phone a few days earlier that he had a date on Saturday night, I nearly drove out to my father's for the weekend. I couldn't fathom being in the same city with him while he was going on a date with another woman. Unfortunately, I couldn't get off work on Sunday.

"And…," he responded as he walked into the kitchen. I was puzzled.

"What happened? Did she cancel?" I responded as I watched him remove the food from the bag and move around my kitchen, grabbing plates and utensils. He set the table, reminding me of "E2" as I referred to his behavior after the accident. Everything was lined up perfectly, just as he'd always demanded when I was taking care of him.

"Do you not know what tomorrow is?" he asked, as if I had a clue.

"It's Sunday, and I have to work. That's the only thing that kept me from going out to spend the weekend with Dad and Katie," I responded. I really didn't want to explain the meaning behind my visit. I didn't think it would add anything to our friendship if he knew I couldn't tolerate the idea of him moving on while I was stuck. I'd always be stuck. It was definitely something I'd come to accept, and I was fine with it as I told myself every morning in the mirror.

"Well, it's a good thing you didn't go because your father took Katie to the cabin for the weekend. I guess you don't know how serious things have gotten with them," Edward admitted.

He was right, and I supposed my father didn't mention it to me because he knew I was still grieving the losses I'd experienced. Even with having Edward back in my life as my friend, it was still hard for me not to remember so much pain and hatred that had manifested during his recovery. I was trying, really I was, but every now and again, I'd catch a tone in his voice reminding me of how nasty he could be if he allowed himself. This third incarnation of Edward had meshed the "before and after" Edward's into a person I really didn't know too well. I was trying to get to know him, keeping his late night confession to myself because he hadn't mentioned a word of it to me in the daylight. I honestly didn't know if he'd changed his mind, or if he wasn't sure how to proceed, so I kept my thoughts to myself…likely another mistake.

"Um, no, Dad and I don't discuss our love…things like that," I answered as I grabbed a bottle of Riesling from the fridge.

"_Don't!_" he snapped. I looked up as I searched the junk drawer for the wine key. He was looking at me with a very dangerous look on his face. _Ah, E2. _

I swallowed and placed the bottle on the counter. "Don't what?" I asked, placing my hands on my hips suggesting to him he might want to change his tone. I wasn't the docile Bella Swan who took care of him. I was a woman who deserved his respect, and if he didn't remember that about me from before the accident, he sure as hell was going to learn it about me now.

"Don't stop mid-sentence and change your course. I hate that shit. It reminds me too much of how you used to placate me when I was recovering. I didn't like it then and I don't like it now," he chastised.

"Yeah, well I don't like you just showing up at my house with food and no explanation. How do you know I didn't have a date of my own tonight? What, is your date later…like a booty call kind of date? Maybe I'm just getting ready to go shower and meet this guy who asked me out yesterday at the store," I snapped back. Oh, the ugly green-eyed monster was in full affect, and I wasn't referring to my ex-husband.

"I think you've sniffed too much hot-glue at that shitty job," he sarcastically responded. It was yet another thing he rode my ass about…not using some of my divorce settlement to start my own business. The real reason I didn't was because there was no way I was going to compete, not that I believed I could, with Esme's business.

Forks and PA were close enough that she did a lot of jobs in PA, and I didn't want to cut into her business. We were all just getting reacquainted, and I didn't want to cause a problem. It had been difficult reconnecting with them because I'd hurt them by completely disappearing on them. It had taken several heart-to-heart discussions with each member of the family to begin the healing process, and I wasn't going to jeopardize it. They meant too much to me, and I wasn't going to fuck up my second chance with them, Edward aside.

"Just because I kept the Cullen name doesn't mean you automatically get to tell me what to do. Now, take your Chinese to your hooker's house and leave because I've got things to do," I demanded, hating the venom in my voice. Most of it was borne in guilt, but we avoided any talk of feelings, and I wasn't sure if it was my fault or his, so I joined him in the art of avoidance. It was truly healthy, wasn't it?

"Jesus Christ, you're still as fucking stubborn…" he began. If he was trying to talk me down, he was certainly going about it the wrong way. If he was trying to piss me off, he was doing it in spades.

"Oh, if you think you're going back to the time when you can get away with calling me names, my knee is going to introduce itself to your crotch," I yelled.

We were both breathing heavily, and not for the reason I'd have liked, and then suddenly, Edward began laughing hysterically. The dogs ran into the kitchen and began barking, and I stood in stunned silence.

By the time he calmed down, I was seething and red-faced. "I don't find any of this funny. I'd appreciate it if you'd give me back my key. I won't need you to walk El any longer. I'll do it myself when I get home," I informed as I held my hand out like a petulant child. _At least I could admit it…even if it was just to myself_.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me into his rock-hard chest. He'd kept up his daily exercise in order to continue to stave off any residual effects from his accident. The new and improved Edward Cullen wasn't just easy on the eyes; he was built like Michelangelo's "_David_."

He wrapped his arms around me, effectively caging me in, and he kissed my forehead which diffused my anger a bit. "Bella, honey, this is Memorial Weekend…the anniversary of when we met. I was too chicken shit to just come right out and ask you for a date because you skirt around any relationship talk _I_ try to introduce, so I was taking a page from your book. I wasn't going to put an official stamp on this, but I wanted us to celebrate the weekend I met the most wonderful woman in the world.

"I was afraid if I came right out and asked you to allow me to take you out for a fancy date, you'd panic and run. The brunette I met at the hospital…that was _you_, sweetheart. Two years ago, we met at Forks Hospital when you brought Charlie in with a broken arm. I have no desire to date anyone other than my ex-wife," he explained.

"Oh," I responded. It was one of my finer moments, no doubt.

"Mrs. Cullen, I'd be honored if you'd share dinner with me and a bottle of wine. After, I'd like to turn on some music and have a discussion with you we've both dodged since the day I ran into you at Dr. Hammersmith's office. Please say yes," he requested softly. I was just as breathless as the first time he kissed me.

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_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till Sunday…xoxo**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Thank you so much for your reviews and for those brave souls who have stuck by through the hard stuff, I can honestly tell you, I'm not good at posting an angst-ridden story, so this might be the only one I ever do. BUT! Thank you for your support of it, nonetheless.**_

_**This is the last full chapter. There's a short epi to follow, but this is it, love it or hate it.**_

_**SMeyer owns all Twilight characters. I don't infringe.**_

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9.

"Yes," I whispered regarding his invitation to share a meal. He leaned forward and ever-so-gently brushed his lips against mine. I might have swooned a bit.

He released me, and we sat down to garlic beef and chicken lo-mein. After we had filled our plates, I remembered something I wanted to ask him. "Hey, something has always intrigued me. You were a thoracic surgical resident when I met you. Why did you see my dad in the ER that afternoon?" I asked, remembering I was always puzzled about it.

He laughed a bit. "Ah! That's something I remember very well now. I've always wondered why you never asked me about that. I was on my way home from a thirty-six hour shift when I saw you standing at the admitting desk fighting with your dad regarding staying at the hospital to have his arm looked at. You were…still are…the most beautiful woman I've ever met, and I'd already spent a rotation through the bone yard, so I decided to take advantage of the situation. I'd treat your dad, and while he was in x-ray, I'd chat up the gorgeous girl with the beautiful face and perky…uh, _smile_," he replied. I knew _smile_ meant tits, and I was glad to see that side of him again.

"So, did my _smile_ disappoint you the first time you saw it up close and personal?" I challenged.

"Bugsy," he began which brought my canine counterpart to the table with a wagging tail. She hopped up and placed her paws on Edward's thigh, whining a bit.

"Shit. Not you, sweetie. Hell, we're going to have to figure this out if we're going to get…spend time together," he responded as he rubbed her head and sent her back to her spot next to El by the dishwasher where they shared a large doggie bed.

"Don't," I repeated his early order.

"What?" he asked.

"Don't change course mid-sentence. _Tit_ for tat," I stated. He laughed.

"Well, to answer your question about your _smile_, I love each and every smile you have. Two in particular," he replied looking at my chest through my t-shirt which caused my nipples to harden, just from his heated gaze.

"Yes, even when you weren't yourself, you always seemed to like _those_ two smiles," I teased.

"God, I tried not to look, I really did, but I couldn't help myself. They're like magnets for my eyes, and that didn't change regardless of my how I felt about you," he responded.

That comment opened a whole can of worms because we'd yet to discuss why he hated me so much when I was taking care of him. "I've got a question," I started as I wiped my mouth and took a drink of my wine.

He nodded. "Do you think, looking back, if you'd known we were married, and I was just trying to help you, you'd have hated me any less?" I asked sincerely.

He finished his food and refilled his glass and mine. "When I woke up, not knowing where I was or why, you were sitting next to me in a chair, crying with your head on the bed. I didn't know who you were, or why you were there. I wanted…I hoped you were more to me than just a sister, but no one ever explained why the doctors talked to you and not me. Nor was I offered any explanation as to why you were directing everything. I didn't know you at all. Before I met you at the hospital that night, I'd given up hope I'd ever meet anyone who meant anything to me. I'd had a few relationships that never really came to be anything, so not remembering how much I loved you, it was frustrating.

"I actually thought my family didn't want to deal with me so they hired someone to come in and control my life. I didn't appreciate it in the least. If they'd told me you were my wife up front, I probably wouldn't have believed it right away, but I wouldn't have seen every decision you made or action taken at your direction as hostile. I might have reacted differently, but I was so angry and confused and frustrated when I was told it was January and the last thing I remembered was a ski trip I'd taken with Jasper and Alice the January before, I just couldn't comprehend why I couldn't remember anything," he explained for the first time.

"I understand, I guess. I mean, Felix told us it might be worse for you if you were told what happened because if you didn't feel anything for me and found out you were my husband, you'd feel guilty for not returning my love which might make it even harder for you to remember things. I didn't want you to have to experience any more pain or confusion than you were already going though, so I talked to the family, and we all decided it was for the best for you to believe I was simply a caregiver. It was probably a mistake, but we'd never been through anything of the sort, so we were kind of working in the dark," I explained.

He looked off into the distance for a moment. I sipped my wine and cleared the table, placing the leftover Chinese in the fridge to be consumed in the wee hours, no doubt. When I sat down, El crawled over and sat down under my chair, leaving a sleeping Bugsy to spread out in the bed.

I chuckled. It was much the way I behaved when Edward had to get up to go to the hospital before. I'd awaken and find myself spread out in the middle of the bed. Maybe Bugsy and I weren't as different as I thought?

"Why'd you allow me to treat you so harshly, Bella?" he asked quietly without meeting my gaze.

I thought about his question and all it meant, and while the simple answer was "because I love you," the real answer was a bit more complicated. "I've thought about this, and the answer is…guilt. You'd have never been in that car hurrying home if I hadn't called you and told you to hurry. I felt like I might as well have been Tanya Denali. I caused that accident as much as she. When we didn't know if you were going to make it, and after I lost the baby, I actually considered killing myself. I'm fine now, but with every turn of events when it first happened, a bottle full of pills became more and more appealing. If I couldn't have you and I couldn't have our baby, I didn't want to live," I confessed, feeling the shame at my honesty.

I didn't want him to feel guilty about it, but the time for lies and half-truths was over if we were ever going to be more. I prayed we could be more. I hoped he had the same prayers.

He cleared his throat and looked at me. "After you left the last time I saw you, I went to see Daniel Denali. You'd mentioned that my parents went to the funeral, and later, Mom told me you'd gone as well. I'd like to say I came up with the idea to go see him myself, but Felix and my parents thought it would be good for me, so I phoned him and we spoke for a bit. I asked him if he'd mind if I stopped by, and he agreed.

"He actually apologized to me for what happened. He mentioned your kindness and compassion at the funeral, and he asked after you. When I told him we weren't together any longer, he said he was very sorry to hear that because you seemed like a wonderful, loving person. After I left his home, I thought long and hard about what he'd said, and I knew he was right. I realized you left me when you did because you recognized you couldn't help me. I'd been angry about it before, but I let it go because I knew it was for the best, just like me letting you go when you signed the divorce papers. I was still too broken for you, Bella. It just wasn't the right time, and as much as I hated it, I knew it was the right thing to do."

I felt wetness on my shirt, and I knew I was crying. Reliving any of that time was difficult. Remembering the night I pulled out one of Edward's prescription pads he kept at the house and practiced his name over and over again to try to write myself one that would do me in was like twisting a knife in my gut.

Hearing he'd gone to see the husband of the woman who had changed not only our lives but the lives of her family as well, showed me more of the man I loved before the accident. It was also enlightening to know he understood why I left when I did. I didn't like walking away, but at that point in time, I saw no other course. The fact he saw it as well made me feel minutely better about it.

He didn't say anything else for a few minutes. He finished his wine and went to the cabinet where I kept a bottle of Maker's Mark, pulling down two glasses as well. He placed them on the table, pulled the cap from the bottle, and poured each of us three fingers. "Ice?" he asked, remembering that I liked bourbon on occasion with a bit of ice.

"No, this is fine," I responded, taking a sip. I didn't want anything to dilute the alcohol's effects. If we were going to finally hash it all out, I was going to slowly numb myself in the process because the pain was too much to bear.

##

I felt puppy licks on my face…on both sides of my face. I then heard laughing from the doorway which caused me to open my eyes and sit up abruptly. Edward was standing there in his boxers and t-shirt from the night before, and I quickly pulled the covers away, seeing my summer pajamas in place. I didn't remember changing, and I was immediately, ridiculously embarrassed. The man had seen me naked for the six months we'd known each other before the accident, so if he'd changed my clothes, it wasn't a big deal, really. I just wish I could remember what had happen.

"Get down, you two," I ordered as I lowered each of them from the bed and hopped up, happy not to have the throbbing headache.

"What happened?" I asked as I went to the bathroom and washed my face of the dog slobbers.

When I stood to look in the mirror, I saw Edward standing behind me with a sexy smile on his face. "You don't remember jumping me last night and having your wicked way with me? Wow, you must have been more blitzed than I thought," he commented as he leaned against the door and crossed his arms over his chest.

I saw he was wearing his glasses, which really got me going, but when I looked into his eyes, I could see he was bullshitting me. "You jackass," I snapped as I shoved him out of the door and closed it so I could pee before my bladder burst.

Once I was finished with my morning business, I walked down the hallway and found him in the kitchen making toast. I smelled bacon and eggs, and I was suddenly starved.

"You cooked? I thought it wasn't something you were back to yet?" I asked as I made a plate and sat down where a cup of coffee waited for me.

"I can cook breakfast and enough other things to keep myself alive, but I can't make some of the other things I used to make because I get too side-tracked. Apparently, my amnesia heightened my ADD. Something quick, I'm good. Anything involved…never mind. Besides, I was lucky enough to be married to one of the best cooks in Clallam County, so I got spoiled. What time do you have to go to work?" he asked as he sat down and tucked into his own plate.

"Rareren," I mumbled with a mouthful of hot eggs. He laughed.

"I forgot how much you liked my eggs," he teased. I loved his eggs. He peppered them and added cayenne and cumin, which I grew to love. It was the first post-sex meal he ever made me.

"I have to be at work by eleven. I'm teaching a matting and framing class today. By the way, did we have sex last night?" I asked with a smirk as I sipped my coffee, tasting a hint of vanilla which I loved. In my opinion, it cut the bitterness. I didn't like cream, milk, or sugar, but I did like a splash of vanilla. The fact he remembered amazed me.

He coughed and laughed. I'd caught him mid-swallow with my off-the-cuff question, not unintentionally. "Do you feel like you reacquainted yourself with 'Peter, Paul, and Marty'?" he asked, reminding me of the nick I'd given his privates.

When I'd called them "Peter, Paul, and Mary," he'd bitched that nothing about his genitalia should warrant it being given a woman's name. I changed "Mary" to "Marty," which seemed to suffice.

I shifted in my chair for affect, because I was sure if I'd reacquainted myself with Cockzilla, I'd be walking funny, just as I had in the past. "I can't tell. It doesn't feel any different," I teased. Edward laughed and cocked an eyebrow at me, knowing I was lying.

"Fine. I remember we settled on the couch, and after you told me once again what a horrible nurse I was, I think I passed out," I confessed. I'd set out to become numb, but apparently, I drank myself into a blackout. That wasn't good at all.

"Actually, I took away the bourbon and gave you water. I didn't say you were a horrible nurse. I just said you were too compassionate to be an effective nurse with a bastard as a patient. Based on what I witnessed in the hospital, those people take no shit from patients, and you were always too sweet to me, regardless of how I treated you.

"Look, Bella, I'm not going to beat around the bush any more. I'd like you to go out with me, and I'd prefer it if you didn't see other guys until we figure out what's going on," he stated. I remembered a similar conversation and laughed.

It took place the morning after our first date, and I was as embarrassed as shit because I'd basically jumped the man when he'd agreed to come in for coffee as he dropped me off at the end of the night. "Easy" was a kind way to define my behavior that night. "Slutty" was more to the point.

"This is like déjà vu…are we going to pretend we went back in time and relive our courtship?" I teased as I finished my breakfast and pushed my plate away, placing my feet on his lap and feeling his hands on them in a hot minute. Just like old times…

He laughed for a second and then turned quite serious. "Okay, you're right. Look, I didn't just show up here in PA on happenstance. I badgered your dad to tell me where you were. After you left New York, I had no idea where you went. I went through extensive therapies of many kinds trying to remember the life we had, Bella. There were feelings…unresolved feelings…I didn't understand, and finally Alice and Jasper sat down with me and explained to me how things had been with us.

"I wish to hell it could have been you, but they told me about the decision the family made to allow things to come to me in my own time. I'd have never agreed to that bullshit, but seriously, if you'd have laid it on me that you were my wife and we had a great life together, I don't know how I'd have reacted.

"So, I took a shot. I got Charlie to tell me where you'd landed, and then I left it up to fate. PA isn't that damn big, and if we were meant to be, I believed we'd find each other…well, I decided I'd give it some time before I began using Bugsy to track you. With all of that being said, I have a suggestion…" he stated. He then outlined a plan that surprised me immensely. When he left with not only Bugsy but Elmer so I could go to work, I was still in shock.

##

"I hope everyone brought their favorites. I'm Bella, and I'm going to show you how to mat and frame your favorite photos. You can pick a cheap frame and a piece of complimenting giftwrap or fabric, and if it's matted correctly, it will look as if it was professionally done. So, go pick out your frame from the selection and pick out your matting medium. Don't be afraid to get a little wild," I joked.

The four older ladies, ten-year-old girl, and two gay guys in my class began perusing the selection I'd pulled within the price-point dictated by the store manager. I'd also pulled various sheets of decorated tissue paper and wrap, small squares of fabric, and various shades of mat board. It was a twenty-dollar class, but I always enjoyed teaching because everyone loved things they created themselves.

As I walked around the room and offered my suggestions based on the photos people brought, I was surprised when a black and white photo of a diamond ring was thrust in front of me. It was in a velvet box setting on what appeared to be a white cloth. "What would you suggest for this? I'm a little late, but I had to walk two dogs who didn't want to cooperate," I heard whispered in my left ear. I turned to see Edward with a smile on his face.

"What are you doing here? I told you I couldn't…I needed time…" I stammered.

"Yeah, I know, but I also know how good we are together, and we both know that life is too short. You never know when fate will change the rules, and Bella, I don't want to waste precious time. We've already done that, so please, let's not do it again. I love you with all of my heart, and I know, though you refuse to admit it, you love me as well. Please, please, marry me again," he pleaded as he sunk down on his knees and held out the box I'd seen in the picture. Of course, everyone in the room stopped moving, talking, and apparently breathing.

I looked around and saw the surprise and smiles on their faces. Why he'd chosen that particular time to propose again was a shock. "Edward, I don't think this is the time or place," I whispered.

"No, it's not. If you didn't have to work today, I'd have taken you on a boat ride or planned out something romantic, but the last time I proposed, we had to make the four-hour ride to Seattle for me to gather my courage. I need you. We need each other, and we know…we know we're meant to be. Hell, the fact I found you at an animal hospital is a testament that we're meant to be together, Bugsy. Let's not waste any more time, please," he responded.

I closed my eyes and remembered how wonderful our life had been, and I wanted it back. I opened them and smiled through my tears at the lovely man in front of me. "I'll marry you again. I love you, Doc," I whispered as I kissed him. The applause was nearly deafening.

##

We married on Sunday, August 13, in Esme's gorgeous garden. Edward and Bugsy moved into _my_ place in Port Angeles, and we picked up the life we'd been denied. We loved…we laughed…we lived.

On December 24, 2012, we decided to stay home, not going out the whole day. I quit my job at the store because Esme wanted to open a branch office of Cullen Designs in PA. We were partners again, and I was happy.

On Christmas Eve morning, I woke my husband in a fashion we'd grown accustomed to because since he'd moved in with me, he slept like a baby. My mouth on Peter woke him every time.

"Oh, God, Bella, that feels so fucking good," he moaned as he pulled me up his body and kissed me with absolutely no regard to morning breath at all.

"So why didn't you let me finish, Dr. Cullen?" I teased as I kissed my way from mouth to his neck, sucking on it a bit…or a lot.

"Because, I've been watching the calendar, and I know that right now is the prime time to make a little Cullen. You went off the pill because we've talked about it, baby. You game?" he asked cockily.

I didn't need to answer him. I sunk down on Cockzilla and rode my husband like a merry-go-round pony. When he released inside of me with a satisfied smirk, I prayed we'd done the deed. It seemed fitting if we did…sort of erasing history and re-writing it with happy memories.

I felt like we'd banked enough good karma that some fate somewhere should smile on us. I wouldn't know for seven weeks when I started throwing up we'd been successful.

##

"Babe, you can go…it's green," I urged as we sat at the stop light near our house. It was Valentine's Day, and I had news for my husband. I was anxious to get to the restaurant to tell him the latest chapter in our life.

He turned to me and smiled, picking up my left hand and kissing it. "I don't mind waiting until everyone at the stop lights know the light has changed. Thirty-seconds changed our life. I'll never do it again," he commented. He was right, and I was grateful for his restraint.

We'd finally come back to us, though the road had been long and hard. We'd learned a lot about ourselves and each other over that time, but we'd gone through hell and came out on the other side…together. Maybe we'd had stops and starts, but at the end of the day, we knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, we were meant to be.

My love came back to me, and I knew we'd never be separated until we were old and grey…hopefully with a lot of kids and grandkids running around.

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_**So, love it…hate it…think she should have held out on him and made him suffer…that's it. This story came to me as you've read it. People aren't perfect, and I wanted to tell the story my way, which I did. For those of you who've hung on for the ride, thank you. If you're disappointed in the way I told it, well leave me a review and tell me how you'd have ended it. I'm always intrigued on how readers would have a story progress…maybe I should do one of those? Sort of interactive? I lay out a premise, and the fans drive the story? Lemme know…**_

_**Thanks for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**It's Tuesday in my world, and I'm feeling a bit sentimental for this story, so I'm posting the epi. Thank all of you who stuck with me through this one. I knew it wasn't as fun and pretty as I usually try to deliver, but it means a lot to me. I appreciate your support more than you'll ever know.**_

_**SMeyer owns the characters. I don't infringe. Thank you Southern Heifer for pre-reading and continuing to support the story. Love you, darlin'!**_

_**All mistakes are mine, but so is the sentiment. This is from the heart. It's short, but I believe it's sweet.**_

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10. EPILOGUE

EDWARD

I sat in a chair in the same hospital in which I'd awakened without a lot of memories, and I thought about my life after a lot of those memories had resurfaced.

I didn't remember everything, but I had a lot of things that had emerged. I remembered _her_. She was love, purely, simply, and beautifully.

When I saw her standing at the emergency room desk with her father, she completely struck me dumb for a moment. She was beautiful. She was trying to talk her dad into staying at the hospital to get checked out, and the nurse was giving her ten kinds of hell because we were busy…well, the ER docs were busy, but I'd just finished a consult, so I volunteered.

"_What's going on?" I asked as I walked up to the desk._

"_Oh, Dr. Cullen, this is Chief Swan. He fell off a ladder…."_

"_And he's fine," the man complained._

_The beautiful young woman looked at me with a look of complete exasperation on her face. "He's not fine. He's broken or dislocated something," she offered._

"_Well, let's take you to an exam room, Chief Swan. If you're fine, I'll cut you loose," I offered as I looked into those damn brown eyes of his daughter. I was lost. She owned my soul from that moment, and all I could think about was "How do I get this gorgeous woman to go out with me?"_

_She was it for me. I was completely over the moon about her, and over the months I remembered us spending together, I knew in my heart I was right. Bella Swan was my life. She was my 'one'._

_I remembered the Valentine's dinner after we remarried, and she was giddy, which thrilled me. I loved to see my wife happy, and that night, she definitely was. I drove us to an Italian restaurant, led her inside, and took her coat. I couldn't help but notice how absolutely gorgeous she looked. She was glowing._

"_Well, Dr. Cullen, you got the job done. I expect we'll have a new member of the family around my birthday. Congratulations, Daddy," Bella told me as she handed me a box wrapped in white paper with red hearts on it after we were settled at our table. I ripped it open right there in the restaurant and saw a Christmas ornament, much like the one we'd hung on the tree in memory of the baby we'd lost when my accident occurred. This one, however, was a glass heart with a stork and the year '2013' etched into it. _

_I kissed her and stood up in the restaurant that Valentine's night yelling, "I'm going to be a dad," to people we didn't know. Bella blushed, but the crowd applauded. It was yet another happy day in my life. _

Every happy event…our second wedding in my mom's garden…our honeymoon to Italy we'd not been able to take the first time…Bella opening a design studio in PA as an extension of Mom's business in Forks…me walking Katie down the aisle when she and Charlie got married in a small church in Forks at Thanksgiving…all of those things served to erase the bad days when I was recovering.

Through a lot of therapy…many kinds…I was erasing the dark days, one-by-one. After numerous discussions with my family, Emmett and Rosalie, and Felix and Jane Banner, I realized how poorly I'd treated Bella when she tried to care for me during my recovery. I didn't have the slightest idea who she was when I woke up. I knew she was beautiful, and she was peppering the doctors with a million questions.

I remembered being a doctor, and while I didn't remember much about my practice, I knew I'd understand them a lot better than the little woman who wouldn't stop talking until _she_ heard something she could latch onto. But, who she was, I didn't know. I could, however, tell she was grieving a loss. I had no idea how extensive that loss was. When she spoke of her husband who was missing, I was jealous. I didn't know in the slightest it was me she was grieving.

That was something I didn't think I'd ever be able to get through, but with Bella, hell, you just couldn't live in the past. She had a way about her that she'd drag you along. "Come on, Doc. The past is the past. We're living in the present and looking forward to the future. I made pancakes." As she'd stroke her swollen belly when she carried our baby, how could I not listen? She was so fucking incredible, so forgiving, so wonderful, I'd have to go to the bathroom and cry because I didn't deserve her the first time, let alone the second. Why God smiled on me, I'd never know, but when he brought Bella into my life, not once but twice, it was the most amazing miracle I never deserved.

As I thought about the road that led us to where we were, I wiped the tears when I heard the cry. I walked over to the clear bassinet, picking up our daughter. "Hello, beautiful. Mommy's sleeping because you took your own sweet time getting here. Twenty hours of labor was harsh, you know. She'll probably ground you when you become a teenager," I teased the gorgeous bundle in my arms. I picked up the bottle in the warmer on the nightstand and situated the nipple in my daughter's perfect mouth.

Bella was planning to nurse, but our daughter's birth had taken all of her energy, so I asked for formula so I could feed her and allow my beautiful wife to sleep.

"I promise you, my beautiful little angel, I won't let your mother saddle you with that horrible name. I'm used to doing battle with the woman, but I refuse to have my daughter named 'Esmenee'. It's awful, and she was delirious after you were born, so don't worry. I've got your back, Jack. Hmm, are you an Angela? I think you just might be," I whispered as I fed our daughter.

I removed the small nipple and moved her to my shoulder, gently patting her back to get a burp out of her. When I had one, which was really God awful, I moved her back to cradle in my arms, and I wondered what she'd face in her lifetime.

I knew how wonderful and horrible life could be with one decision. I made a great decision when I asked Bella out for a date after I cast her father's broken arm. Tanya Denali made a horrible one when she climbed behind the wheel of her car and drove drunk.

She took her own life and left behind a family. She also took a huge chunk of my life, my first child because Bella miscarried just after the accident, and any hope we could continue our life together without first blowing apart. I didn't know at the time how close she'd come to taking my Bella's life as well.

Would I endure the hell of the accident if I was guaranteed my life would turn out the way it had… beautiful wife who'd agreed not once, but twice, to marry me, and an angel in my arms sleeping peacefully? Knowing what I knew in that moment, I'd have to say yes. Looking back on it and all of the bad shit we trudged through, I'd have probably said no.

Thankfully, I had a woman who loved me so much she'd sacrificed everything to try to bring me back from the purgatory in which I existed for far too long. She saved my life. She was the most incredible person I'd ever met, and as I drifted to sleep holding her hand after I'd placed our sleeping daughter into her little plastic bed, I knew Bella had brought me back…she brought me home. She was home. I'd come home.

_Come home  
Come home  
Cause I've been waiting for you  
For so long  
For so long  
And right now there's a war between the vanities  
But all I see is you and me  
The fight for you is all I've ever known  
So come home_

_("Come Home" by OneRepublic. Copyrighted 2009.)_

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_**So, there we go. Again, thank you to all of you who read and reviewed. I know (trust me) everyone didn't like it, but it was what I had to give. Every story is a little piece of the writer, and we offer what we can when something strikes us. This was what struck me.**_

_**Thank you so much for reading.**_

_**For the last time (this time)…xoxo**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Hi! Sorry it's not a new chapter or a future take, but I was nominated for "Top Ten Favourite Fics completed in January" over on www . twifanfictionrecs . com. (remove spaces)**_

_**If you liked the story, I'd appreciate a vote. I'm always honored to be nominated for anything, and if you're so inclined to vote, I'd appreciate it. Thank you again for reading. I loved the story, and I'm glad it found a home.**_

_**You know me...I've always got something in the slow cooker, so stay tuned.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


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